Shave tire treads into your hair and rock it that way.
They were doing that at NOPI and I was THIS CLOSE to doing it, but then I remembered my parents wouldn't let me go out in public and would likely shave me bald, lol
You do know when you cut your hair short like that or even shave your head, your hair grows back stronger and thicker.
As for the cut, it's not much shorter than in the before pic. Ditch the hat.