Draygoes
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The withdraw is one thing, but the dreams afterward that last for years... Not somthing I enjoy thinking about. I still dream of the stuff.I'm so glad you got over it.
I really hate the reactionary Joe Bloggs, the public, who know nothing of heroin addiction. Myself, I have never touched any drugs - it's just something that has never interested me. But I have two cousins (both brothers) who's lives were/is absolutely ruined because of it - and they hate it. They have lost everything through it, and they have spilled their guts out to me. They felt/feel so guilty, so depressed, so hopeless, and are well aware of how it has/had destroyed their familys' live's - but no-one understands how powerful the addiciton is.
One of them, sadly, took his own life a couple of years ago, and left a note to his mother. It mostly contained an appology for all the heartbreak that he brought to her door, and that he couldn't live any longer as an addict. He was aware of all the harm, he had been in and out of rehab, and he was severely depressed over it all.
I don't know how it effects people, or if it is different for each individual - I'm ignorant of all that. But one thing I do understand is that 99% of addicts don't want to be an addict, and it's a very powerful thing that is very hard to move from, and in all cases they are still human and feel shame like anyone else would (at least they felt like this sober).
I absolutely applaud you Sir, and I wish you the very best and may you continue being sober! Drug addiction is something I wouldn't wish on my worse enemy, I have seen first hand its effects not only on the individual, but the family too. Yet you have overcome it. Hat's off to you too for being so open. People so often misunderstand addicts - it's often so much easier just to point, redicule, and isolate rather than trying to understand. I genuinely do hope you feel proud of yourself: it's a trap few experience, and even fewer escape from.
The worst part of the experiance is when you run out of money (You gotta keep the electricity on, then take care of the habbit, or you will run out of money faster than you ever thought possible.). Once you run out of money, you do whatever it takes to get a couple of hundered dollars per day to support your habbit, and it most cases someone elses as well. Anything and everything that you do at that point is going to be a daily chore, and as morally corrupt as you may guess. Pan Handleing was my thing, which is actually a bit worse than stealing, because your technically stealing right in front of someones face.
Thank you for your kind words. Anyone whom is physically addicted to anything is not happy, and I have watched others go down in hard ways. At least a tobacco addiction is not going to kill you during withdraw. Heroin absolutly can. So, until you find help, you stand a very real chance of death from several angles. I got lucky. I found a free, outpatiant clinic that specialized in this type of thing which gives out Suboxone, which is a strip that you stick under your toung that desolves in seconds. Once in your system, the stuff tricks your brain into thinking you have had opiates, while blocking the real opiates, making the use of Heroin completely pointless. Each strip lasts for 24 hours, so you only have to dose once per day, every day for a week. The mental war never ends. To this day, I cannot be around anyone who uses, as the urge to use again would be way to powerful. I hate even being in a hospital because I know that they have Morphine, and that its way to easy to trick a doctor into allowing you to have some.
I have found it much more easy to be open on this site than any other because of you guys, so thank you all for that.
Again, thank you for your kind words. Even to this day, it means a lot to know that people care.
@Celery: You should consider talking with your nephew. Dont just let him know that you know, flat out tell him to knock that crap off. Its up to him if he wants to get clean or not (You would be supprised. He might really want to and just be afraid of what that means.), but stealing from your family is not only wrong, its destructive. You may be able to help him by finding a free (most are free) rehab, and trying to get him to at least give it a shot. Make sure that it is an in-patent rehab, and they will not let him leave until his body is clean. Just dont tell him that part.
EDIT
I want to make on thing very clear. I am not trying to make this thread about me. But I find that explaining based on experience helps far better, as people realize that I know what I am talking about. On cracked.com, I actually did help a heroin addict escape using this exact method. He PM'ed me after I explained the addiction and experiances asking for it, and has been clean for over a year now.
@Celery, you really want to also know that you will not be able to trick him by switching the pills out or anything like that. Any addict knows your pills better than you do. There are ways to help him, but that is not one of them.
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