Alright J, now I am bashing Apple

[iPwn]

So,
We purchased a few of these for our Graphics designers, and by few, I mean 20. One of them was a spare and has been sitting in its original packaging for the last 107 days. We open it up to setup a station and it won't turn on. These displays have no buttons, only the cables and 3 USB ports. I know the display is getting power because I can connect the USB cable from the monitor to the PC, and then a USB device into the monitor and it is accessible. The monitor just won't display picture. So, after troubleshooting everything I could, I called Apple. They were more than happy to set up an appointment and arrange a call. So they called and the gal on the phone identified herself as an "Apple expert" which is apparently used very loosely.
As the call progressed, it was very clear that "Apple expert's" are far from experts. She kept telling me to push the power button. I told her several times the monitor has no buttons, and she kept telling me to look next to the volume button. This was after giving the Model and serial numbers. Ten minutes of her not understanding the fact that it does not have a button, I got an email and sent the link above the shows a picture of the right side of the display where she claims there are buttons, and you can clearly see there are none. So, she said to plug in a USB keyboard to it and we'll press a few buttons to reset the monitor. I did... then I waited as she fumbled around and talked to herself. Then she said, "Let's plug it into the computer"... so I did. "Did it turn on?" ... What? No, we didn't do anything... "Oh just wanted to check". "Alright, I'll send you a box and a shipping label and we'll repair it... ... ... Can I put you on hold?" Sure, no problem. -Music- "Are you there? [...] well we don't actually repair monitors so you need to take it to an Apple store."
Me: No, I paid $1000 for this monitor and the nearest Apple store is 93 miles parking lot to parking lot, I'm not driving 4 hours for a product this expensive that doesn't work out of the box"
Her: "Okay... " - Music - "You need to call the Apple store and see if you can ship it to them and they can ship you a new one"
Me: Okay, case number, bla bla bla
Her: "Just ask for a manager and he'll get you all setup"

Call Apple Store
Her: "Hi, this is [who cares] and I'm an Apple Expert, how can I help?"
Me: May I speak to your manager please?
Her: I should be able to help
Me: I just got off the phone with Apple Care and was told to ask for a manager and my time is valuable, please let me speak to a manager.
Her: Sure, let me check.
-Music-
Her: My manager is busy, may I get an email and he'll email you?
Me now slightly irritated: No, please have him call me in regards to case [#] at [#] as soon as possible.
Her: Sure, what's going on?
Me repeating myself even though everything is documented in the case...
Her: Do you have the serial number?
Me: It's in the case I just provided you...
Her: Oh okay, what about the Model number?
Me: It's in the case I just provided you...
Her: So you spoke with Apple Care already?
Me now extremely irritated: As stated previously, yes, I just got off the phone with Apple Care. Please have your manager call me because your multibillion dollar company can't afford $2 shipping labels for products that they just sold for $1000 and I need this fixed. Thank you for your effort, have your manager call me.
Her: Thanks for calling the Apple Store, we'll call you in a few minutes.

That all happened two hours ago. What a joke.

 

[iPwn]

The Awesomeness that is Apple continues...

Get a call from a man named Jeff who was extremely proud to identify himself as the "Lead Genius"... and they apparently grade intelligence against special Olympics dropouts. Anyway. He started by asking how he could help.

Now, on a side note; I am usually overly patient with the people who answer phones. I used to work customer service as my first adult job after the military and know what it's like. Since I used to work this job though, I have some expectations. I was never short with someone or wasted their time unless they were trying to get something for free. That wastes my time and holds up the line for those who actually paid and need help. So now, I am extremely patient, but up to a point. The first gal I spoke with was probably very new and worked for minimum wage in a job she wasn't qualified for, she was a screen reader, so I never got short with her. However, the next two people had evidence that I have already been through the ringer and could see that my company shelled out $20,000 that went towards their paycheck. Put those together and quit acting retarded. If you are retarded, please don't call yourself a genius... anyway.

He didn't exactly ask "What can I do to help?", it was an abrupt "How can I help" as if he didn't know why I called him. So, before he finished his sentence, I immediately asked if he reviewed the case. He said yes so I asked how we could get the monitor to him. He said "You'll need to bring it in". sigh... "Jeff, considering the amount of money we paid for your products, we're not spending an additional $100 or more in gas because you can't implement quality controls. Pay for a shipping label, send me a PDF of it, and I'll put the device in a box and then on a truck in our shipping department."
Genius: "I wouldn't know how to get the monitor back to you, sorry. You need to bring it in."

Me: Click.

I simply don't understand what kind of Genius doesn't know to use the same box it came in, go online and search for a shipping type of website (UPS or FedEx comes time mind), purchase a $5 shipping label, use a printer and some tape, and then call UPS or whoever he pays for the shipping to come pick it up. Again, they are exposing how completely retarded consumers are. If I wake up tomorrow morning, look in the mirror and say "I'm Batman", that simply doesn't make me Batman. However, in crApple land, calling yourself a Genius instantaneously grants +164 to Intelligence and you gain three levels.

Furthermore, I could very easily put that monitor in a box, print a shipping label and a return shipping label for less than $3 total using our effing amazing UPS discount and send it to the Apple genius', but the whole point is that I shouldn't have to. You collected payment on a product that didn't work, so you violated the agreement we had when I paid. Fix it.
So, the next time our Graphics team wants to complain that Apple monitors have a more accurate color display when they do color correcting, they get the LG bargain buy. See, with LG, I ordered 122 22" monitors and few of them were DOA. When I called, they asked what troubleshooting I had done and I told them I work in the IT shop and we've tried many things, they then skipped straight to asking me for an address where I wanted the return box to be sent. Same with HP; I paid for and then paid the overnight cost on a Slate 2 that we needed for a last minute retail/inventory project and it didn't work when I got it the next day, so they put me on hold, and then came back and told me to go a local store where they purchased one for us. They would send a box to return the defective one shortly. Datalogic even sent us a free industrial barcode scanner and a box of different spec'd cables to test after we had already purchased 10 and they failed after two months. After we found what the issue was, they replaced the faulty parts in the original ones and told us to keep the other testing unit. After that, we bought 40 more of those scanners from them.

I guess Apple doesn't care though. Why do you need to care though when you have retards calling themselves experts selling products to other retards based on looks and subjective features alone? I am assuming this will be the next product line that nets billions in sales for no apparent reason?

Time to go kill noobs on Gears. I'm done with this thread.

 

[BikerEcho]

Very great thread. thanks for posting your story.
1000$ for a 27 inch LED screen 0.o
i know it is a higher resolution then standard HD, but damn... have mercy Apple.

 

[foothead]

Very great thread. thanks for posting your story.
1000$ for a 27 inch LED screen 0.o
i know it is a higher resolution then standard HD, but damn... have mercy Apple.

IPS screen. They're very expensive. AFAIK, the only cheap one out there is that catleap thing, which is apparently pretty decent, but quality control sucks (bad pixels are common right out of the box) and warranty service is problematic since the company is in korea.

 

[BikerEcho]

well at least apple should have some more standard displays with a more affordable price.
why not sell some good quality non ips displays like all the other display companies.

 

[foothead]

eh, the only non-all-in-one computers apple sells are the mac mini and the mac pro. Anyone buying the pro can afford an expensive monitor, so that just leaves the few people buying a mini, which probably wouldn't provide enough profit to make it worthwhile. It's not like you have to use apple monitors with their computers (though it was like that in the past I think) so you could just go buy a cheap samsung or whatever for $100.