Textfile authentication

[hatedguilt]

I am taking a class called "tcd" and i cant conifure mysql on there f*ing computers!... Ive been working with php and all and trying to get mysql to work for a week but havent got it. Now im wondering is there a way to get authentication from a textfile. With php i know you can add text to a text file but it'd be practically impossible to read info from the textfile right? What other languages are there to do this.. cgi, perl? I cant use cgi-perl either so im kinda stuck.. Help would be good. The kind of authentication im trying to get is username, password, teamnames, standing, statistics, schedule. Im currently working on a project for my friends soccer business and i need to make him a site about his soccer league. Thanks all!