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Old 06-07-2006, 11:04 PM   #1
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Default You ever hear of "No Child left behind"? Well then there is this...

Well in the states we have this school program called, "No Child Left Behind". Its a long story, about how everybody has to learn to read by a certain age. Google it.

but i got this email... entitled "NO PARENT LEFT BEHIND"
NO PARENT LEFT BEHIND
These are real notes written by parents in a Tennessee school district. Spellings have been left intact.

1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.
2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot.
3. Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.
4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating.
5. Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
10. Please excuse ray friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
11. Please excuse Lesli from being absent yesterday. She had the ^&$%^$.
12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.
13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
14. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because i don't know what size she wear.
16. Please excuse jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday. We thought it was sunday.
17. Sally won't be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her funeral.
18. My daughter was absent yesterday becase she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines.
19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
20. Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
22. Please excuse brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.
23. Maryann was absent december 11-16, because she had a fever, sorethroat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

Now we know why parents are screaming for better education for our kids.
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Old 06-08-2006, 01:53 AM   #2
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Default Re: You ever hear of "No Child left behind"? Well then there is this...

Wow, seriously. We might want to put aside a little money for adult education too.
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Old 06-08-2006, 03:20 AM   #3
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Default Re: You ever hear of "No Child left behind"? Well then there is this...

Haha, those are hilarious! Honestly, they really are. Even though, if those are true... that's scary. These cracked me up the most:

- Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
- Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
- Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

Those are HILARIOUS!
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Old 06-08-2006, 04:53 AM   #4
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Default Re: You ever hear of "No Child left behind"? Well then there is this...

---My daughter was absent yesterday becase she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines.
OMG!!!!
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Old 06-08-2006, 07:16 AM   #5
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Talking Re: You ever hear of "No Child left behind"? Well then there is this...

Quote:
Originally Posted by recon 16
Well in the states we have this school program called, "No Child Left Behind". Its a long story, about how everybody has to learn to read by a certain age. Google it.

but i got this email... entitled "NO PARENT LEFT BEHIND"
NO PARENT LEFT BEHIND
These are real notes written by parents in a Tennessee school district. Spellings have been left intact.

1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.
2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot.
3. Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.
4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating.
5. Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
10. Please excuse ray friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
11. Please excuse Lesli from being absent yesterday. She had the ^&$%^$.
12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.
13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
14. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
OMG!!! lol
15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because i don't know what size she wear.
16. Please excuse jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday. We thought it was sunday.
17. Sally won't be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her funeral.
18. My daughter was absent yesterday becase she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines.
19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
20. Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps. <-- lol
21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.Lol
22. Please excuse brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.Eww.
23. Maryann was absent december 11-16, because she had a fever, sorethroat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
Ok.... [/b]

Now we know why parents are screaming for better education for our kids.
Omg, thats great!
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Old 06-08-2006, 07:18 AM   #6
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Default Re: You ever hear of "No Child left behind"? Well then there is this...

Some of them seem fake, if you ask me. For example the one about, She couldnt come to school, cause we had too attend her funeral...That just seems made up, either Im right, or some adults didnt get enough education..

17. Sally won't be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her funeral.

Explain this, dont really see how it even comes close to making sense at all..
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Old 06-08-2006, 07:20 AM   #7
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Default Re: You ever hear of "No Child left behind"? Well then there is this...

Probably, but its still pretty funny
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Old 06-15-2009, 01:13 PM   #8
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Default Re: You ever hear of "No Child left behind"? Well then there is this...

. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well

Sorry, but they just aren't very remarkable. This one, and many others were most likely written by a non-native speakers of English. The "th" sound is very difficult for many foreigners. It quite often sounds exactly like a T or D sound to them, sort of like how English speakers often can't tell the difference between the U and OU sounds in French (/y/ and /u/). In Italy I remember reading a sign warning about "tunder showers". Some of the parents that wrote these could have just arrived in the country a week ago, so give them a break.
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Old 06-15-2009, 01:31 PM   #9
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Default Re: You ever hear of "No Child left behind"? Well then there is this...

Dude...this thread is 3 fu*cking years old.
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Old 06-15-2009, 03:02 PM   #10
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Default Re: You ever hear of "No Child left behind"? Well then there is this...

Quote:
Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
Haha.

Those are hilarious!
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