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Old 02-17-2007, 08:40 AM   #1
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Talking Why Men Shouldn't Go Shopping

Disclaimer: This isn't meant to offend men (since I'm one too ), it's just a joke.

Dear Mrs. Squiffs
While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty
Card, the Manager of our store in Chumley Martin is considering banning you
and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his
antics.
Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by
our surveillance cameras:
.................................................. .................
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
trolleys when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to
feminine products aisle.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
"Code 3" in housewares..... and watched what happened.
5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and
told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a
Calor gas stove.
7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him,
he began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a
mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.
9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the
Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the
antidepressants were.
10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming
the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the "Madonna look"
using different size funnels.
12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled
"PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker,
assumed the foetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices
again."
And; last, but not least:
14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a
while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here."

Yours sincerely,

Charles Brown
Store Manager
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Old 02-17-2007, 09:06 AM   #2
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Default Re: Why Men Shouldn't Go Shopping

I like it!
+1
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Old 02-17-2007, 09:41 AM   #3
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Default Re: Why Men Shouldn't Go Shopping

Haha! Lmao.. I gotta try some of them..
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Old 02-17-2007, 09:42 AM   #4
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Default Re: Why Men Shouldn't Go Shopping

omg nice...
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Old 02-17-2007, 09:44 AM   #5
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Default Re: Why Men Shouldn't Go Shopping

what is a "trolley" I'm guessing a cart?

haha that's funny though!
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Old 02-17-2007, 09:49 AM   #6
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Default Re: Why Men Shouldn't Go Shopping

haha thats pretty funny!
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Old 02-17-2007, 09:49 AM   #7
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Default Re: Why Men Shouldn't Go Shopping

he he me and a friend threw random things in peoples trolleys when we was about 14 , that was quite fun
and btw mike heres a trolley
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Old 02-17-2007, 10:20 AM   #8
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Default Re: Why Men Shouldn't Go Shopping

Quote:
Originally Posted by ^Mike^
what is a "trolley" I'm guessing a cart?

haha that's funny though!
Just a cart yeah..
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Old 02-17-2007, 10:32 AM   #9
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Default Re: Why Men Shouldn't Go Shopping

We used to remove the security strips off things and drop them in peoples bags when they were on their way out
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Old 02-17-2007, 10:53 AM   #10
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Default Re: Why Men Shouldn't Go Shopping

Quote:
Originally Posted by Raffaz
We used to remove the security strips off things and drop them in peoples bags when they were on their way out
hahaha that's good
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