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Old 05-09-2008, 06:19 PM   #1
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Talking What is the Internet?

I'll quote a bit but to read the entire thing, you'll have to go here.
Quote:
Q. What, exactly, is the Internet?
A. The Internet is a worldwide network of university, government, business, and private computer systems.

Q. Who runs it?
A. A 13-year-old named Jason.

Q. How can I get on the Internet?
A. The easiest way is to sign up with one of the popular commercial "on-line" services, such as Prodigy, CompuServe, or America Online, which will give you their program disks for free. Or, if you just leave your house unlocked, they'll sneak in some night and install their programs on your computer when you're sleeping. They really want your business.

Q. What are the benefits of these services?
A. The major benefit is that they all have simple, "user-friendly" interfaces that enable you-even if you have no previous computer experience-to provide the on-line services with the information they need to automatically put monthly charges on your credit card bill forever.

Q. What if I die?
A. They don't care.

Q. Can't I cancel my account?
A. Of course! You can cancel your account at anytime.

Q. How?
A. Nobody has ever been able to find out. Some of us have been trying for years to cancel our on-line service accounts, but no matter what we do, the charges keep appearing on our bills. We're thinking of entering the Federal Witness Protection Program.

Q. What if I have children?
A. You'll want an anesthetic, because it really hurts.

Q. No, I mean: What if my children also use my Internet account?
A. You should just sign your house and major internal organs over to the on-line service right now.

Q. Aside from running up charges, what else can I do once I'm connected to an on-line service?
A. Millions of things! An incredible array of things! No end of things!

Q. Like what?
A. You can ... ummmm ... OK! I have one! You can chat.

Q. Chat?
A. Chat.

Q. I can already chat. I chat with my friends.
A. Yes, but on the Internet, which connects millions of people all over the entire globe, you can chat with total strangers, many of whom are boring and stupid!

Q. Sounds great! How does it work?
A. Well, first you decide which type of area you wish to chat in. Some areas are just for general chatting, and some are for specific interest groups, such as Teens, Poets, Cat Lovers, Religious People, Gays, Gay Teens Who Read Religious Poetry to Cats, and of course Guys Having Pointless Arguments About Sports. At any given moment, an area can contain anywhere from two to dozens of people, who use clever fake names such as "ByteMe2" so nobody will know their real identities.

Q. What are their real identities?
A. They represent an incredible range of people, people of all ages, in all kinds of fascinating fields from scientists to singers, from writers to wranglers, from actors to athletes - you could be talking to almost anybody on the Internet!

Q. Really?
A. No. You re almost always talking to losers and hormone-crazed 13-year-old boys. But they pretend to be writers, wranglers, scientists, singers, etc.
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Old 05-09-2008, 06:53 PM   #2
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Default Re: What is the Internet?

haha thats hilarious
+1
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Old 05-09-2008, 08:22 PM   #3
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Default Re: What is the Internet?

LMAO


+1

(2 in a row in ONE thread, you are on a roll!)
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Old 05-09-2008, 08:26 PM   #4
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Default Re: What is the Internet?

lolol

+1
(3rd in a row,trying for a record.)
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Old 05-09-2008, 08:28 PM   #5
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Default Re: What is the Internet?

i loled for ages i'll give you the hatrick
+1
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Old 05-09-2008, 08:32 PM   #6
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Default Re: What is the Internet?

LMAO, seriously. I read the whole thing, and laughed so god damn hard the entire time. Especially durring the "cyber sex" session where the guy randomly interrupts, "Anyone here from Texas?"

AHHAHAHA, That was so god damn funny.. and "Contrary to popular belief, webpages do not load at the speed of light. They load at the speed of the Department Of Motor Vehicles."

LMAO, Everyone that posts should give +1. Fo-real.

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