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Old 10-18-2013, 04:31 PM   #11
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Default Re: User diagnosis: Wait what?

I remember I got a ticket when first starting in the Help Desk:

"Helpdesk,

My printer will not print. It's broken and lights are flashing. I've restarted my computer twice, I've checked for jams and the printer has brand new toner in it!!!! help!"

Went to printer and there was no paper in it. The light that was flashing was clearly labeled "Paper"...
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Old 10-18-2013, 04:58 PM   #12
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Default Re: User diagnosis: Wait what?

Quote:
Originally Posted by iPwn View Post
I remember I got a ticket when first starting in the Help Desk:

"Helpdesk,

My printer will not print. It's broken and lights are flashing. I've restarted my computer twice, I've checked for jams and the printer has brand new toner in it!!!! help!"

Went to printer and there was no paper in it. The light that was flashing was clearly labeled "Paper"...
Sounds like the classic ID10T or even the pebkac error right there...
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Old 10-18-2013, 05:55 PM   #13
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Default Re: User diagnosis: Wait what?

I just hate those dingbats at BestBuy. Now in defense of the ones that know what they're talking about, the smart ones out number the ID10T's about 4 to 1.
I was returning my WD USB drive to swap out since it mysteriously failed. This couple was laptop shopping and the sales twerp was laying the BS on thick. Not being in the best of moods to start with I told my bud to not get involved and just watch. I walked up a discreet distance behind them and put my hands behind my back and proceeded to watch. For every line of total BS out of his mouth I came out with, Oh My God. After a couple of times he finally asked if there was something he could help me with. I loaded my smart ass remark cannon and let it rip. I said yeah there is. You can learn about your products instead of BSing your way through a presentation. You can also stop trying to get this couple to buy a higher priced laptop when it's not what they really need.
He got pissed naturally and mouthing off. I cut him off with, Which college did you go to? I went to MIT myself.
The couple asked me to help them find a laptop. All they wanted was to get online and check email and do lite surfing. Instead I got the gal I normally deal with to help them out.
Manager asked me to lay low for a while. I got my drive swapped out before I left and refunded the old price over the new price plus 10%. My friend could not stop laughing all the way back to the office.
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Old 10-19-2013, 08:06 AM   #14
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Default Re: User diagnosis: Wait what?

Quote:
Originally Posted by celegorm View Post
Sounds like the classic ID10T or even the pebkac error right there...
There is a joke online, but this joke actually happen'd in real life...

"My printer is broken. It won't prints Gif's. On the computer they look fine, but when I print it, it stop moving"
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Old 10-19-2013, 09:10 AM   #15
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Default Re: User diagnosis: Wait what?

Setishock: You did a good deed right there.
Hate those kind of sales people.
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Old 10-19-2013, 09:16 AM   #16
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Default Re: User diagnosis: Wait what?

A few years back I overheard a conversation between a sales droid and a customer where the customer was shopping for a cell phone. The customer asked about a feature and what it did. The sales droid answered, "Oh, that allows the phone to access more satellites!" That satisfied the customer who moved on. I turned to the droid and asked, "So, when did cell phones start using satellites?", he replied, "Don't they?" I replied, "No, they use cell towers, which is why they're called cell phones and not satellite phones."
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Old 10-19-2013, 10:06 AM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BikerEcho View Post
Setishock: You did a good deed right there.
Hate those kind of sales people.
Then you'll hate wall mart. I was in the game section, just looking at the prices of the gaming consoles. IT was almost christmas time and this woman wanted to buy a brand new ps3 for her sons. The price was $299 something with a free game. He recommended her an xbox 360 for $250 4Gb with a game. (Ps3 was 250 gigs) He was telling her that the monthly subscription was only $30 for the xbox, and the internet on that was better on the xbox, and much worse on the PS3. She was like ok, I think I'll take the Xbox 360. He went away to go get something, and I went up to the woman, and told her" I really think you shouldn't buy it here. 1, its far over priced, and most everything he just told you was a lie. THe internet is no different, the Ps3 internet is the exact same, and online you can get a Ps3 or xbox for a lot less, and get plenty more". She said thank you and left the store right away, and didn't buy anything. It's a new kind of low to go to your costumers and simply lie in their faces to get a little more money.
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Old 10-21-2013, 10:46 AM   #18
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Default Re: User diagnosis: Wait what?

I'm sure I used to have loads of stories, but it's been years since I worked on a service desk. Now most of the really fun calls are filtered out before they get to me...


I was once told by a guy in a finance team at our customers that I couldn't get access to a system to test connection speed issues on the Citrix system I'd just rolled out as it'd have to be approved and I'd need to sign various NDAs because of the confidential data.
I told him that's nice but if I wanted access I could just got direct to the database and look there, or make myself an account etc...

Same for emails etc. HR systems etc etc etc, the message is, if the admin wants to read your emails, they can... but you know what, the internet is a far more interesting place than someone else's inbox. (and even looking at porn on company time is less likely to get you sacked than reading someone else's emails.)


The calls that I get that are idiocy now are generally not end users being idiots, but either co-workers being idiots, or lazy... Occasionally we get the odd throwback from a really poorly implemented product... -usually when a customer starts asking for things to be removed from a design to make it cheaper. (basically, stuff that's annoying because it could have/should have been avoided)

An example of which is a few months ago I received a call that the SMTP server at a particular installation was not working. the guy was sending test emails but they were failing.

In the space of a few hours, someone had found an exploitable script on a web page and used it to send spam, effectively making one of our clients websites like some kind of open relay for mail. and they'd filled the bad mail queue and used all the disk space sending to bad addresses, (and sent who knows how many millions of messages to addresses that actually existed)

The developer in question suggested that fixing his code would be too much work, and we should just keep clearing mail queues, (nuts to our company getting black listed, and who cares that mail is going out advertising male enhancement or porn with our customers names on it?!).
funnily enough after a quick chat with a manager pointing out exactly what was going on, weirdly it wasn't such a big task after all and the guy could find some time to do it.



as for sales guys...
Sadly whilst we live in a commission based world for sales there will always be:
People who tell old ladies that they desperately need a mac book air packages with photo-shop etc if they want to email their kids and get pictures of their grandchildren.

There will always be salesmen who sell impossible solutions. because they don't need to implement the final product. they are long gone by the time that particular turd hits the fan.

Basically, what I'm saying is if you work in sales I probably think that you're a greasy weasel that deserves to bit hit with a spade.
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Old 10-21-2013, 08:26 PM   #19
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Default Re: User diagnosis: Wait what?

Today at work, a user was trying to audit calls and said she couldn't because of an error with Windows Media Player. I go over there and ask her to duplicate the issue. Media Player opens and says the file cannot be played because of a problem with the sound device. I immediately noticed that her headphones were not plugged into the computer.
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Old 10-22-2013, 03:59 AM   #20
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Default Re: User diagnosis: Wait what?

Me: Hey, what video card is on that laptop (no flyers or stickers around and system locked)?
Them: It is a 2GB video card.

I get this all the time at stores. What the heck? And I have to explain it to them like children.

----

Me: I use Windows on my system. It supports games and add-on cards I use.
Him: Why don't you use XP?

I then had to explain how both are related.

----

Me: Hello, do you have 3DFX cards? (you guys remember 3DFX don't ya)
Him: Yes, we have many "3D effects" card. (spoke in Arabic except for the quoted part in English)

Being an Arab (him) sometimes makes you show off that when you speak another language (not sure about other nationalities). That guy was both a show off and uninformed about video cards. He didn't have 3DFX after all.

---

I actually have a similar post on a Mercedes web-forum about MB mechanics here in Saudi Arabia. Some of them say my car's engine oil is low with one KILO... the heck?
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