1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
Broken this one.
2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
Done it under many more.
3: Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.
Never been to a bachelor party, but i have brought a camera to far worse
4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
Never bailed someone out of jail.
5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
Doesnt apply to me
6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
Always bitch about coors beer
7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.
I try to remeber, and I buy presents too
8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
Broken this rule.
10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.
Defiantly broke this rule.
12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
Agree with this rule, it's terrible.
13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
Never doen this, but I like the idea.
14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
Never worn one, but I have been encouraged, by friends.
15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
I'll mention it
16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
Hrm, no comment.
17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
Nope, i dont care. Broken this rule.
18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.
Agree with this rule.
19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
Ha, i dont care about the beer
20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
Doesnt apply to me.
21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
Im going to make sure to say these things.
22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs.
Put it in situation, and yes.
25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
i <3 pink car.
27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.
28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.
It could be fun.
ANYONE DO WORSE THAN ME?