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Old 06-04-2009, 08:08 PM   #1
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Default Survey for psychology class

So i have to ask 5 males this question and 5 femals..so answer your best please.

Imagine a current, past, or desired relationship, and think about what would be more distressing: either imagining this person falling in love with someone else (in which there is no physical relationship), or imagining this person having sexual intercourse with someone else (in which there is no emotional attachment). Out of this, which would you rather have, Explain.

and

List five important traits you find in a mate. And why

thanks all
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Old 06-04-2009, 09:08 PM   #2
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Default Re: Survey for psychology class

I say intercourse and here is why. Sure that is horrible and is really hard to forgive, but you can forgive and move on with your lives. Sure the scars will still be there, but you will still be with the one you want.

1. Personality
2. Caringness
3. Smart
4. Funny
5. Looks
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Old 06-04-2009, 09:15 PM   #3
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Default Re: Survey for psychology class

aight, thanks caleb.
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Old 06-04-2009, 09:41 PM   #4
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Default Re: Survey for psychology class

I don't mind not having a physical relationship... If that's all there is, he/she might as well be a prostitute.
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Old 06-04-2009, 09:44 PM   #5
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Default Re: Survey for psychology class

I would find an emotional attachment to a different person quite a bit more hurtful. I recently went through a very rough breakup. My ex-girlfriend developed feelings for another guy.

I descended into a state of lethargy, slowly followed by a period of self destruction. Ended up in the hospital from drinking a few times, shaved my head... it was an absolute mess.

I do not feel as if sexual relations are nearly as telling as emotional ones. If she simply had sex with some dude, I'd get over it; however, the fact that she actually began loving someone else more than me... well, it was almost unbearable. Needless to say, I would end the relationship if either was the case.

As for the five traits...

1. Sense of humor.
2. Good looks.
3. Charm.
4. Intelligence.
5. A hefty trust fund.

I know some of those are shallow, but I am honestly trying to answer as truthfully as I can.
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Old 06-04-2009, 09:46 PM   #6
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Default Re: Survey for psychology class

Quote:
Originally Posted by Spec View Post
So i have to ask 5 males this question and 5 femals..so answer your best please.

Imagine a current, past, or desired relationship, and think about what would be more distressing: either imagining this person falling in love with someone else (in which there is no physical relationship), or imagining this person having sexual intercourse with someone else (in which there is no emotional attachment). Out of this, which would you rather have, Explain.

and

List five important traits you find in a mate. And why

thanks all
The person falling in love by a long shot. Sex is sex, we all have desires to have it and it's not entirely dependant on emotions. Relationships are based around emotion, f*ck buddies are based around sex

Five traits are

-Successful, not living off of welfare wasting there time away
-Honesty
-Very attractive
-Laid back
-Non controlling
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Old 06-04-2009, 10:00 PM   #7
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Default Re: Survey for psychology class

I think I would rather have her have a very emotional connection with a guy. I mean I want to not think of her doing either.. really.. But I would rather think of her in a emotional relationship because Sex doesn't make you happy in the long run. and I would like her to be happy even though it may and will not be with me.

1. Smart. Most important. Can't have a conversation.. I'm not interested..
2. Is she funny? I am mostly Irish and I have a very strong humor.
3. Can I respect her? Does she or can she respect me?
4. Am I attracted to her looks? Because whether you say it or not.. They count..
5. God. Does she believe? What does believe? Does it contradict mine?
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Old 06-04-2009, 10:12 PM   #8
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Default Re: Survey for psychology class

Alright thanks alot guys, im starting my writing process now. If you have any siblings that are female can you ask them the question too? Thanks.
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Old 06-04-2009, 10:51 PM   #9
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Default Re: Survey for psychology class

I agree with Thelis. An emotional attachment to another person would be quite more hurtful.

1. Love me for who I am.
2. Light-hearted, good sense of humor.
3. Honesty and loyalty.
4. Looks
5. Sense of ambition; success.
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Old 06-04-2009, 11:43 PM   #10
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Default Re: Survey for psychology class

I would have to say falling in love without a physical relationship would be more hurtful. That would mean your ex-partner likes someone else but still has feelings for you. Why else wouldn't there be a physical relationship except for the obvious reasons? I'm talking about a disease. Something has to be holding them back.


I really don't have any traits I look for specifically. I usually give every girl a chance as long as we are compatible. If I had to choose 5...

1) Sense of humor
2) Hard working
3) Intellectual
4) Family oriented
5) Caring

I don't know if you meant physical or mental traits. I just chose mental.
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Old 06-05-2009, 07:16 AM   #11
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Default Re: Survey for psychology class

Quote:
Originally Posted by Spec View Post
So i have to ask 5 males this question and 5 femals..so answer your best please.

Imagine a current, past, or desired relationship, and think about what would be more distressing: either imagining this person falling in love with someone else (in which there is no physical relationship), or imagining this person having sexual intercourse with someone else (in which there is no emotional attachment). Out of this, which would you rather have, Explain.

and

List five important traits you find in a mate. And why

thanks all
I'd find that if I was going out with a girl that if she randomly started sleeping with someone else that'd be the hardest thing to deal with.

a person falling in love with someone else would be hard, but at least you can understand that people can't help how they feel, but randomly cheating on you with someone that they didn't really care about would be worse.

anyway
1 - Personality
2 - Intelligence
3 - Sense of humour
4 - Looks
5 - Whether they are compatible with you, like in terms of their views on politics religion etc.

the last one is weird.
but if you imagine that at some point in life you'll all have a friend that you disagree with and have an argument about politics or religion... and that's fine, you'll probably agree to respect each others views and probably only have arguments/debates every once in a while, but imagine seeing someone that you fundamentally disagreed with everyday...




and I'm not sure whether you'll actually find five females here!
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Old 06-05-2009, 10:49 AM   #12
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Default Re: Survey for psychology class

I agree with Thelis too. Its actually sort of happening/or has been happening with someone I know, so I know how much it hurts.
A physical relationship with another guy wouldn't bother me as much.
Love on the other hand is something a lot more higher up, and love + sex when in love = a lot more hurt in my opinion, if they intertwined, which they would at some point.

I'd prefer myself to have an emotional relationship.

As for 5 traits (In no real order to be honest):

1) Personality (can involve a lot, including inner beauty)
2) Looks (They are important to me, and I won't lie), but there are many types of look. You can be attracted to a girl straight away, just from looks, but with others, you start to like them more physically once you get to know their inner self more. So in a way, they sometimes come together to form one.
3) Funny (Someone that understands my humour, and someone I can make laugh)
4) Intelligent (I can't stand barbiesque girls, I call them),
5) Loving, caring & Understanding (Without these traits, you have pretty much nothing, and they seem to all roll into one). Means the difference between someone that will stay with you, and someone that won't.
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