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Old 02-08-2005, 04:18 PM   #21
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nice story....very...interesting lol its good
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Old 02-08-2005, 04:56 PM   #22
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Default Re: Story Time!

Quote:
Originally Posted by vegaslon
sounds just like the prologues tolken puts in... perhaps that is why I could never get past it. not all prologues have to be straight history. I have seen some great prologues that have bits of personality in them.

I have wrote some stuff as well just for the heck of it perhaps it will be published or perhaps not but it definitely is fun to write.
I don't think there could be a more brilliant Compliment! Haha. There is some personality, especially with the Eethbert and Kalthorn bits during the battle part of the Prologue which I am writing now. It fills in a great deal more History you would find useful for the rest of the story all above all; leaves huge gaps where twists can be inserted

Including Kalthorn's Origins


Where's this prologue to promised us Assasin!
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Old 02-08-2005, 07:49 PM   #23
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my apologies this is so late, i had to go to a funeral for an old neighbour yesterday, so thats y i didnt post it earlier. but here it is now:

Quote:
Prologue

The Stones were the most powerful magical artifacts that had ever been found, certainly within the mine of D’urfest in the Lizard Territories, and quite possibly in the whole of the Dwarven Lands.
These Stones were in fact the Lode Stones. They were what governed the world and kept its order and form. They were the power of Ardune, the Soul of the world broken into elements. There was one for each axis of the planet. North and South, East and West, Dost and Most.
Their power tapped, the world was at the feet of the Dwarves and their inventions, but they had to get them to their capital of Dur Bargenholm. The problem: the rest of the world believed the mine was overrun by Scaleys soon after it was established.
The Dwarves had had no contact from outside for a good many years, and no way to contact the outside from their trapped position, surrounded as they were by the Lizardmen, so they had emptied the mine of everyone who could be spared for the daring quest of returning the stones to the capital and delivering contact to the outside world. With any luck there would be an offensive mounted and the mine would be rejuvenated and restored to its former glory. That was their hope.

* * * *
* * *
* * * *

Thwap!, Thwap!, Thwap!, Thwap! The heavy column of Dwarven soldiers marched along the muddy, downtrodden trail through the rain, their feet moving together in unison. Lightning speared across the sky, illuminating the rough jagged peaks of the mountains to their right, and the near vertical drop to the foaming river on the other side. The soldiers looked out warily from under their helms at the pitch-blackness around them for any signs of movement. This was Scaley country, travel through here was dangerous at best, but the armoured column they were travelling in offered a better chance of protection and survival. The Lizardmen usually attacked in small groups of ten or twenty, enough to be annoying but not enough to be a serious threat.
Little were they aware that upon one of the overhangs to their right a Lizardman sentry was monitoring the movement of the Dwarven column, some eight hundred regular Dwarven soldiers and four Rune Dwarves, those few gifted Dwarves that were bestowed with magic who were usually given high ranks due to their unmatched skills and abilities. They marched towards an ambush, which none involved had planned, but which fate had brought together at just such a time for its reasons, as it is wanton to do sometimes. This would be the biggest battle that the Lizards would ever win. Nearly two and a half thousand warriors awaited them when they reached the crest of the hill, three tribes in total from different territories coming together, unaware that the other clans were also acting similarly. Their aim: to halt the march of this deadly force either into their territory or off it. These dense jungle lands were barely charted and none of the territories of the Scaleys had been marked on the old Dwarven maps. No force so big had been through these lands in ages, and that wouldn’t change now, the Lizardmen would see to that.
As the Dwarven column drew closer to the rise before them on their path, shouts arose from the rear: “Sergeant! Scaley’s commin’ up from behind! Large force sir!”
“Num’ers?” replied the officer in question.
“I don’t know sir. More than usual. Looks to be a few hundred, but they’re still commin’ down sir!”
“Horus’ eyes!” swore the sergeant, cursing at the God of Day, “they must have spotted us this afternoon in our march!” Calling to a corporal, he gave him orders to pass to the front. “Loosen your axes and crossbows lads,” he shouted, “we’re the rear guard ‘till the rest reach that rise and form up defenses! Two volleys, one squad on the first order then the rest on the second!”
Still the Lizardmen poured down the craggy side of the mountain, their snarls and hisses and whoopings rising to an almighty thunder with their thumping limbs as they bounded and ran forward, eager to tear into the Dwarven column.
“Form up and take aim!” shouted the sergeant. “On my command…” and the Dwarves held, waiting with baited breath for the word, “FIRE!” he roared, dropping his raised arm in signal, and the crossbows of the Dwarves sang as their bolts sped towards their unfortunate targets.
Hurriedly the rest of the Dwarven column dashed towards the crest of the hill and began facing their enemy. But to their dismay and horror there was a force of more Lizardmen waiting on the other side of the hill, equally as large as their pursuers, and equally as aggressive. But the worst was yet to come…
As the Rune Dwarfs surveyed the current dilemma and began shouting commands to their subordinates, huge rocks, easily half the size of a Dwarf, began hurtling down upon them from the cliffs above. The Rune Dwarves began hurriedly inscribing runes upon the muddy soil about them for protection, one level headed Rune Dwarf even trying to make a rune of summoning in the hope that a golem could be raised to aid them. But as quickly as they were drawn, the runes were stamped out by dwarves dodging the hurtling missiles from overhead. Chaos reigned as the boulders fell, opening the Dwarven ranks.
As the Dwarves were scattering this way and that a horrendous crash and the sound of shattering of wood came from the midst of the chaos drawing the attention of all for a second as they stared at the remnants of the all but forgotten litter of Stones. The sole reason for the insanely dangerous journey through the Lizard Territories. Each Stone had been in its own magically protected, redwood, ironbound case, all of which were packed on a sturdy carry litter for easier transport.
But now… now they were scattered amidst the chaos that had erupted, tripping Dwarves who were now back to their attempts to dodge the hurtling boulders from above. They were only aiding in heightening the body count and lessening the chances, slim as they were, that the Dwarves might make it out of this battle alive.
With a sickening splat one of the Rune Dwarves was crushed under a falling boulder, a severe and devastating blow. But before they could react or even form some resistance against their lofty attackers, the Lizardmen from the opposite side of the hill to their arrival clashed with their outer troops. The unprepared Dwarves were trampled under the charge as the Scaley’s rushed ever closer to their prey, claws rending, teeth gnashing and tails whipping.
Dwarves began drawing axes and crossbows preparing to try and form some serious resistance against the attacking forces. But alas, no sooner were quarrels nocked and axes hefted than they were either gruesomely crushed, blood splattering on both friend and foe alike, or they were mauled and ravaged by the Lizardmen. That’s not to say that the Lizardmen didn’t take casualties, they did, but still they came forward.
The Dwarves moved back through their fallen, some of who were only crippled and still bellowing and screaming trying to get the boulders off trapped limbs. Their comrades were either demoralised or, like most, driven into the fearsome Bloodlust frenzy of the Dwarves. Lifting their anger and resolve for death, those affected threw themselves into the Scaley packs with no thought for safety or odds, chilling battle howls erupting from their throats as they tore into the Lizardmen. Some Scaley’s broke and ran when they saw the ferocity and recklessness of the Bloodlust, but what scared them most was the effectiveness of it, their ability to carve up pack after pack or their kin.
But the Scaley force was not so easily stopped, and with force of numbers they slaughtered every last Dwarf in the column.

* * * *
* * *
* * * *

And so it came to be that in this calamitous event the 6 Lode Stones of Ardune were lost for an age.
Three cases in which the Lode Stones were being transported were lost to the river below, to the left of the deadly path that the Dwarves had chosen, sinking and floatinig out of site and mind of all concerned.
Two were taken by the Lizardmen, one each for the tribes that fought hand to hand with the Dwarves, and they were coveted as though holy artefacts by them, though they knew not what the contents of the boxes were, the likes of which they had never before seen.
The last Lode Stone case was never found. It lay buried under a pile of boulders and bodies, damaged, but not destroyed, blood pooling inside the case bathing the Stone. There it lay, surrounded by death and blood for ages, until its rebirth into the world…
i hope that you enjoy reading it. this is only a small scale battle compared to the things that i want to include. The main characters parents and older brother are burnt alive in the first chapter while he and his sister watch on in horror. This book that im writing is going to be so bloody and gruesome its going to be hard to find a publisher for it... maybe ill have to get my own printing machine????

Lord K. i hope that you find it useful, anyway, thats the prologue, enjoy!
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Old 02-08-2005, 08:02 PM   #24
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Default Re: Story Time!

Holy crap, alot of typing!! Here are some advanced German sentences written in my Senior AP German! Here ya go!

1). Lucas hat von seinen Eltern einen Computer gebekommen.
2). Er hat mich für Nachmittag eingeladen.
3). Ich habe meinen Laptop eingepäcken.
4). Wir haben zusammen am computer gespielt.
5). Zuerst haben wire in paar Programme für Computerspiele aus dem Internet runtergelädt.
6). Ein Spiel hat uns ganz besonders gefällt.
7). Ich habe dieses Spiele schon gekannt.
8). Deshalb wurde ich dann wohl auch gegewonnen.
9). Lukas hat sich darüber ein bisschen geargern.
10). Dann haben wir mit Computerspielen aufgehört.
11). Wir haben noch eine E-Mail an unsere Fruendin Martina geschriebt.
12). Allerdings Lukas und ich haben den ganzen Nachmittag kaum miteinander gesprochen.
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Old 02-08-2005, 08:08 PM   #25
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Default Re: Story Time!

ok, now post the english translations please, i have no idea what that means!!!!
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Old 02-09-2005, 02:00 AM   #26
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Default Re: Story Time!

Lol....Word !!
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Old 02-09-2005, 08:15 AM   #27
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Default Re: Story Time!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Assassin_666
i hope that you enjoy reading it. this is only a small scale battle compared to the things that i want to include. The main characters parents and older brother are burnt alive in the first chapter while he and his sister watch on in horror. This book that im writing is going to be so bloody and gruesome its going to be hard to find a publisher for it... maybe ill have to get my own printing machine????

Lord K. i hope that you find it useful, anyway, thats the prologue, enjoy!
Can't beat objects that control the fabric of existance

Very nice though! Nice style, and you can't beat dwarves for fun I'm not sure I can get my head around a 4 dimensional planet... but I suppose its nicer to have more Lode Stones.

Lol; I don't think it would be very economic
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Old 02-09-2005, 07:03 PM   #28
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I have completed another reasonably sized chunk, and while it does not end quite like the other does, that's because that was a section of the Prologue (with the ****** between), this is the beginning of a section which is not finished.

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Orb of Light: Prologue Continued...
A child’s laughter filled the air; chuckling from one octave to another it crossed the vast grasslands east of the Fedron Mountains and on towards the setting sun in the West. “Bloody hell Nila!” a boy, fifteen years old came into the barn where the young girl was laughing at a chicken she had locked in one of the bays where the sheep came in to sleep during the long winter that ravaged the grasslands each year. “How did you get in here?” The child was no older than three or four; and had a cackling laugh that pierced the wooden walls of the barn and awoke the boy’s father during his Sunday nap.
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Orb of Light: Prologue Continued...

“Tiberius!” he shouted as he got his slippers on and came stomping down the stairs to see what the raucous was all about. “I knew looking after that damned baby was a waste of time, I told her so I did I told her that it wouldn’t work all she ever does is laugh and abuse my chickens but no it was ‘Arrr, look how cute she is’,” he jabbered to make fun of his wife who had found the little girl in a market nearer town and brought her back to look after. “Ruining my Sunday snooze!” A doze was struck down on the little farm during the day while everybody slept; little Nila lay in her basket on the porch, Tiberius dutifully looking after her laying on the deck beside the basket. Octavo his father sat sprawled across his favourite chair with his hat over his face on the other side of the decking, as far away from the baby as possible.

Further into the day Tiberius left the family and went to the Barn where he unclipped his stallion. He had never known where the Stallion had come from; just from his father that it had been a present from a friend of the Family from when Tiberius was a baby. His knowledge of riding was vast; and he wanted to become a Heavy Cavalryman when he was old enough to leave his father’s farm and go to join the Army. Jumping upon the beast, wiggling a little to become comfortable he nudged the horse’s flanks and off they both went speeding straight down the path out to the field where they could jump over irrigation ditches and swerve around trees for fun. “Come on Octavius!” he had named the horse after his father; and while the grumpy old man had refused to allow the horse to be called Octavo he did allow the obvious twist on the theme. They sped forward once more; jumped over a ditch to find themselves faced with a low branch. Like clockwork, as Tiberius had been winded once before by hitting a dirty old branch that refused to fall off the horse shook his mane and jumped a good six feet off the ground to clear the branch. Tiberius rose his arms in the jump but as he did he saw smoke on the horizon. A quick clip on the sides stopped Octavius and Tiberius jumped off to see what was up. He climbed a tree and saw the smoke once more. Thick smoke covering the whole horizon towards the West, it rose slowly but was growing thicker with every ticking second; it was not long before the flames we in sight. He turned and scrambled down the tree to ride back to the farm but was met by the strangest thing.

A bunny. At least it looked like a bunny; its body was an oval and its head the same on its side. Its ears stood up to Tiberius’ nose but its head stood not more than four feet from the ground. Black fur covered the bunny it appeared; but it was wearing a cheaply made suit of leather-bound armour. It squawked; a terribly high pitched and loud squawk like nothing Tiberius had ever heard, Octavius slowly trotted backwards from it but Tiberius was not so fearful. “Hello?” he said to it, just as another popped up from behind the original and gave another hideous squawk. He could see his father’s little cart rolling down the road, and then turning off towards him at an unusually high speed and realised something must be wrong. Two more of the strange bunnies popped up again, as if from no where; but these seemed instead of squawking generally they squawked at the other two.

Tiberius backed up and took Octavius’ reigns, quickly moving facing the bunnies so they could not do anything unexpected he jumped up and turned around to speed down the embankment to jump the ditch and get as far away from them as possible. His father however did not; and continued towards the bunnies that seemed to have quietened down. “Get home son!” Tiberius looked around and didn’t want to go; and set off on a trot instead. “Get your bloody arse home! Protect your mother! She has something you’ll need.” Tiberius looked around again; and down the road there seemed to be more flames growing, and little black dots on the horizon moving down the road. He had to set off; and looking towards the ledge where the strange bunnies stood innocently he kicked the Stallion’s side and set off at break-neck speed. His hooves pummelled the ground and they went towards the house.

“Who are we looking for again?” a young Kimanchou Bunny Lieutenant asked Lord Kronos, commander of the Kimanchou Forces East of the Mountain. He had been commanded to go to the West as soon as possible, and join the fighting with Hu’Zak’s Grand Army again Eethbert of Thalmor but needed to seek out a personal goal; something he would only do with the army because leave would not be permitted during the War.

“I am looking for Eethbert’s Daughter,” he smelt around in the air; he never did like Headquarters even on the field so he left his Marshals to the talking and roamed around with the troops. “She should be around four, five years old, maybe younger certainly not older”. The Lieutenant was not sure what the reasoning behind the idea could possibly be; he could not see the point of a God having a direct child, instead of creating a race. Even if; why would he keep his only child so far from him. Kronos gave a quick grunt and blasted his order out over the field to move forward “Move you vermin!” he patted the Lieutenant on the shoulder, “Can you smell the god on the air? We’re close”. The Lieutenant sniffed a little; but could smell nothing of unusual importance, the normal smell of Lord Kronos, the usual stench of Kimanchou Warriors, soggy grass; he had never been near a god before anyway.

The farm kept getting closer, but to either side so did a number of the strange Bunnies. He pushed Octavius harder and harder but the Bunnies had noticed; and ran faster towards the building thinking, if this person is riding fast towards it; it may be of greater importance than apparent. A few looked around for good firing positions but did not find any and presumed the best attack of the oncoming horseman would be from inside the house. Tiberius pushed harder again as the first few bunnies popped into the house and started burning the older wooden suspension beams which held the house up.

Hope you enjoyed if you've read this far!
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Old 02-09-2005, 09:15 PM   #29
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hmmmmm, looks like things are getting interesting Lord K!

oh and the 4 dimensional wold isnt really, theres only 3 dimensions, like our planet. the easiest way to explain it is that its like the curves that you did in high school with the grid paper, where there was the x and y axis. well there is a z axis too.

imagine the normal paper diagram, the x and y axis top to bottom and left to right... the z axis simply goes from front to back of that, behind the paper and in front of it. thats the easiest way i can think of describing it, saves drawing diagrams, which a cant figure out how to post other than a website link!!!

anyway, i cant get the start of the story to begin properly, ive re-written it about 4 times! if i can get that right then the rest of the story will come along with it. then things will get interesting! the graphic content will be pretty gory. thats the intent anyway. i dont want to do a story where the main character is good, this one is going to be bad, this character is going to be the nastiest mo' fo' to ever come outta some ones head and make it to paperback!

anyway Lord K, good luck with the novel!
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Old 02-10-2005, 04:43 PM   #30
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Default Re: Story Time!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Assassin_666
hmmmmm, looks like things are getting interesting Lord K!

oh and the 4 dimensional wold isnt really, theres only 3 dimensions, like our planet. the easiest way to explain it is that its like the curves that you did in high school with the grid paper, where there was the x and y axis. well there is a z axis too.

imagine the normal paper diagram, the x and y axis top to bottom and left to right... the z axis simply goes from front to back of that, behind the paper and in front of it. thats the easiest way i can think of describing it, saves drawing diagrams, which a cant figure out how to post other than a website link!!!

anyway, i cant get the start of the story to begin properly, ive re-written it about 4 times! if i can get that right then the rest of the story will come along with it. then things will get interesting! the graphic content will be pretty gory. thats the intent anyway. i dont want to do a story where the main character is good, this one is going to be bad, this character is going to be the nastiest mo' fo' to ever come outta some ones head and make it to paperback!

anyway Lord K, good luck with the novel!
Lol; I especially enjoy the bits with Tiberius in it He's not based in any way on myself as some presume but he is my favourite charactor.

Haha I'm doing Furher Maths... I meant Dost and Most? You said they're an axis of the World. If you have North and South you have y, you have East and West you have x, so Dost and Most are just inbetween East and West? Because if the Centre of the Earth is the Origin; all axies go in and out of the Earth... [confused look] I'm just being Anal Luckily its Fiction and its good whether or whether not I can understand it.

Haha, lol. I don't think I've ever read a book with the evil charactor as the main charactor. Maybe a main charactor - which large sections on it and about what its doing (Hu'Zak has this type of situation in the Part Rise of Kimanchou) but never as a Primary Charactor

You must put it up if you do more!
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