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Old 02-07-2005, 10:03 AM   #11
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excellent, excellent first paragraph. i dunno, after that it seemed a little weird. like bunny things and stuff. but very good (especially that first paragraph)!
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Old 02-07-2005, 02:27 PM   #12
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Default Re: Just out of interest

i happen to have an army of bunnies myself. they are pretty fierce. never underestimate the ruthlessness veiled behind the cuteness.
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Old 02-07-2005, 04:01 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Assassin_666
yeah not bad, maybe u could give some triats of the peoples that the Immortals create, itll create a better relationship with the reader if they can imagine the peoples and their actions, or just describe the physical appearance of the immortals and then the line "created in their image" will do the rest for u.

Im writing my own book too, ive only got the prologue done, but im happy with it, if anyone wants to see it then make a post and ill display it, i just dont want to rain on Lord Ks parade and dampen it all for him.
Yeah; its only a little beginning of the Prologue and further in, some of which I have already written, you do meet most all of the formal races created (not some that come up in the story as important kept back charactors of course ) in a great War between Hu'Zak and Eethbert. There are also some Tiberius Kalthorn childhood bits and how he gets into the Army for that battle.

I didn't want to create a physical image of the Immortals, because then you can imagine them. I will, again mostly in the close up bits of the Battle Scenes and preludes to the major battle describe the more general features of the major races.


I want to see it! Lol; I like reading working progresses. I'll just change the title of this thread...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Assassin_666
i have a question: is it a story thats all cute n stuff, like animals that talk like the bunny people, i personally dont like that, but thats just me, others might.
its a good allround prologue, ill say it straight out.
Haha, no. Lol; I have just written a spoon-based disembowelment for Honour, and have previous written some torture which I will include in this revision. The Bunnies are purely my strange imagination and as Tulsileaf says Bunnies are not always cute. I try to describe the bunnies; like most charactors very little other than general appearance; but basically they are very teddy-bear-bunny like, so that they can get normal human appearances and facial expressions, and stand on two feet with opposing thumbs. They are not loppy-lugs four legged baby rabbits That would just be silly. Thanks though; everybody brings that up eventually.
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Old 02-08-2005, 02:05 AM   #14
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no charge man, i need that sorta stuff brought up about the things i write, cuz although its a bit annoying, it makes the story that much better.

and like they say, every little bit helps.

If u want ill PM u my prologue, its a battle scene between dwarves and Lizardmen, setting the scene for the rest of the novels (theres going to be 6 books, in 3 volumes, much like tolkeins LotR sets, but the Appendicies are going to be a separate affair book, and much bigger.) Just a thought so u can get some other inspirations for battle scenes if u want. No hassel if not.
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Old 02-08-2005, 07:09 AM   #15
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that looks very good even tho i aint read it yet lol
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Old 02-08-2005, 09:08 AM   #16
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Well, i'm still waiting to see the movie "Computer Forums" Produced By the Lindon Empire!!....Lol
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Old 02-08-2005, 10:53 AM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Assassin_666
no charge man, i need that sorta stuff brought up about the things i write, cuz although its a bit annoying, it makes the story that much better.

and like they say, every little bit helps.

If u want ill PM u my prologue, its a battle scene between dwarves and Lizardmen, setting the scene for the rest of the novels (theres going to be 6 books, in 3 volumes, much like tolkeins LotR sets, but the Appendicies are going to be a separate affair book, and much bigger.) Just a thought so u can get some other inspirations for battle scenes if u want. No hassel if not.
Haha, can't work without ideas! Nah, thanks, very useful points.

Sounds good, why not put it in here in a Quote?

Haha! That sounds great; write it Mixx!
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Old 02-08-2005, 11:09 AM   #18
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Yah, i would ..but it would probably take me a very long time, since i pay very good attention to detail...Lol
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Old 02-08-2005, 11:15 AM   #19
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Haha; the greatest downfall of the great.
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Old 02-08-2005, 03:08 PM   #20
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Default Re: Story Time!

sounds just like the prologues tolken puts in... perhaps that is why I could never get past it. not all prologues have to be straight history. I have seen some great prologues that have bits of personality in them.

I have wrote some stuff as well just for the heck of it perhaps it will be published or perhaps not but it definitely is fun to write.
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