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Old 01-29-2009, 08:56 PM   #1
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Default Rule 34 (SFW)

And here we have another fine example of rule 34 proving itself....thought no one fantasized about wrapping Roy Orbison in cling-wrap? Think again!

http://www.michaelkelly.fsnet.co.uk/karl.htm
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Old 01-29-2009, 09:17 PM   #2
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Default Re: Rule 34 (SFW)

Ok. . .
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Old 01-29-2009, 09:49 PM   #3
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Default Re: Rule 34 (SFW)

I don't get it :\
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Old 01-29-2009, 10:03 PM   #4
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Default Re: Rule 34 (SFW)

I'm with atomic here.... Kinda.......... weird.......
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Old 01-30-2009, 02:08 PM   #5
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Default Re: Rule 34 (SFW)

Story 1

Quote:
It always starts the same way. I am in the garden airing my terrapin Jetta when he walks past my gate, that mysterious man in black.

'Hello Roy,' I say. 'What are you doing in Dusseldorf?'

'Attending to certain matters,' he replies.

'Ah,' I say.

He apprises Jetta's lines with a keen eye. 'That is a well-groomed terrapin,' he says.

'Her name is Jetta.' I say. 'Perhaps you would like to come inside?'

'Very well.' He says.

Roy Orbison walks inside my house and sits down on my couch. We talk urbanely of various issues of the day. Presently I say, 'Perhaps you would like to see my cling-film?'

'By all means.' I cannot see his eyes through his trademark dark glasses and I have no idea if he is merely being polite or if he genuinely has an interest in cling-film.

I bring it from the kitchen, all the rolls of it. 'I have a surprising amount of clingfilm,' I say with a nervous laugh. Roy merely nods.

'I estimate I must have nearly a kilometre in the kitchen alone.'

'As much as that?' He says in surprise. 'So.'

'Mind you, people do not realize how much is on each roll. I bet that with a single roll alone I could wrap you up entirely.'

Roy Orbison sits impassively like a monochrome Buddha. My palms are sweaty.

'I will take that bet,' says Roy. 'If you succeed I will give you tickets to my new concert. If you fail I will take Jetta, as a lesson to you not to speak boastfully.'

I nod. 'So then. If you will please to stand.'

Roy stands. 'Commence.'

I start at the ankles and work up. I am like a spider binding him in my gossamer web. I do it tight with several layers. Soon Roy Orbison stands before me, completely wrapped in cling-film. The pleasure is unexampled.

'You are completely wrapped in cling-film,' I say.

'You win the bet,' says Roy, muffled. 'Now unwrap me.'

'Not for several hours.'

'Ah.'

I sit and admire my handiwork for a long time. So as not to make the ordeal unpleasant for him we make small talk on topical subjects, Roy somewhat muffled. At some point I must leave him to attend to Jetta's needs. When I return I find he has hopped out of my house, still wrapped in cling-film. The loss leaves me broken and pitiful. He never calls me. He sends no tickets. The police come and reprimand me. Jetta is taken away, although I get her back after a complicated legal process.

There is only one thing that can console me. A certain dream, a certain vision...

It always starts the same way.
Interview question:

Quote:
Does it(his book) include other celebrities?

No, absolutely not! It must be Roy Orbison. For me, maybe it's OK for other people, I do not judge but I find it odd. Some person sent me a story about Tom Petty in clingfilm and I deleted it. I do not get that, I try to be broad-minded but who would possibly want to wrap Tom Petty in clingfilm? There are strange people in the world.
From the interview it kinda sounds like he's trolling but it's odd at the lengths he is going to do this if that's the case.
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Old 01-31-2009, 02:38 AM   #6
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Default Re: Rule 34 (SFW)

EPIC nufag....
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