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Old 12-07-2006, 12:52 PM   #1
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Default relationship questions

hey guys.

so i am 17 years old. i know... a young lost high school senior lol.

i have a few questions about relationships.

so i met a girl, she is 14, it's like a 3 year age difference, which i dont consider too bad.

she is cute, pretty, and i like to be around her. we talk on the phone for probably 4 hours/day on average. and we text each other during school. we go to the same school, and we have had a relationship for about a month and a half now.

we basically talk to each other at all times possible, seriously. like all day lol. so sometimes it gets awkward and uncomfortable because we dont have much to say to each other, but we still like being on the phone even if it's silent or being near each other.

her parents are a lot more strict than mine, so we cant do anything together really. i see her at church on sunday and wednesday nights but we get to see each other everyday at school and stuff, except saturdays really.

like when we first started talking, i was amazed by her. like we argue sometimes, about me being stupid, cause i struggle with jealousy issues and what not, but we always make up and like each other so much more after.

after like 3 weeks, i told her "i love you." and then i told her that maybe we should starting saying "i care about you." or something along those lines. but like one day i couldnt talk to her, i went crazy. like i cant stand the thought of not being able to talk to her for more than 6 hours again.

her mom took up her phone one night, because her parents woke up and saw that we were on the phone at 2 am, which didnt make her parents happy. she realized how much she liked me i think, and said "i love you" for the first time. i told her "tell me when you really mean it too." and she said "i meant it just then." and that made me so happy.

i could honestly see myself with her for like years and years, maybe marriage if we stay together you know? but i want to take it step by step, i am jsut scared of losing her and what not.

but recently like... the burning desire i have had for her has slowly diminished, but i know i still love her. i just think we talk so much that we dont have anythign to talk about sometimes, so that worries me.

is this normal? maybe my desire for her is slowly rounding off and smoothing out because i know she loves me too and i know she is mine now? is all of that normal?

and how can i keep conversations and make sure i am interesting and stuff?

any help is appreciated, and i will post more about it in spare time. :]

thanks guys. :] (and gals)
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Old 12-07-2006, 01:00 PM   #2
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Default Re: relationship questions

...... it may not be a big age difference.. but she is a minor, and you are an adult.. technically, you could be done for this..


apart from the legalities.. how long have you known her? IMO, it sounds like its far too early to be thinking about 'marrige'..



one tip i would give you, is that when your over 18, be very careful.. i dont know what their like over there with things like this, but over here, you could end up being screwed..


give it time, see how it works out.... good luck
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Old 12-07-2006, 01:02 PM   #3
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Default Re: relationship questions

yeah, we dont do anything sexually... and we're not worried about that anytime soon lol.

and i am saying one day i might think about wanting to marry her, i agree, it is too early right now easily...

i have known her for like 2 months... and when i mean known her, i mean like talk to everyday all day.
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Old 12-07-2006, 01:07 PM   #4
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Default Re: relationship questions

Sounds just like i was when i was 17. Ahhh, those were the days lol. Dont ya just love testosterone. Everything ya have said sounds normal to me mate, the desire will die down eventually, thats probably coz your talking to her constantly. How ya gonna have anything to talk about if ya together all the time. Best bit of advice i could give is dont neglect ya mates for a girl, coz the girls come and go but ya mates stick around.
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Old 12-07-2006, 01:09 PM   #5
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Default Re: relationship questions

can a mod close this thread?

this might give me negative thoughts lol

cause i really like her lol and i dont want negativity :]

but i wouldnt give up my friends for her.
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Old 12-07-2006, 02:15 PM   #6
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Default Re: relationship questions

I do have a negative comment to make about the subject and that's only because i have gone through the same thing as you and it didn't end well. But i will take the high road on this one and say best of luck to you and I hope things work out well.
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Old 12-07-2006, 02:29 PM   #7
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Default Re: relationship questions

Blimey, well, all I can say is, she is a very lucky girl.

No, you dont love her, you dont know her, but you care about her, and that is what what matters.

Believe me when I say, I've been married for 13 years, and I'm sure we would run out of conversation on the phone after a few hours! It's not flipping normal in real life!

Getting through the mundane boring things together is what builds a relationship.

I hope that wasn't too negative
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Old 12-17-2006, 01:45 AM   #8
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Default Re: relationship questions

Now you might think I am a pussy when you read this, but whenI read this thread, I nearly cried. I'm not really the emotional type and it takes quite a lot to stir me, but this reminded me exactly of a 15 month relationship I was in that died in the arse about three months ago. Sorry if I'm giving you any negative energy here, but I just want you to know that if it does end up going down the wrong path, please don't despair. The world is huge, you are only young and so is she. It is good to hear that you have a sound communication base there, so that should help things along. But don't over do it. Remember these words 'Love is not Jealousy'. If she wants space, she will most likely tell you that she wants space, all you have to do is respect that, and vice versa. Good luck with her, and I hope you have a lot better fortune with your love life than I have had.
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Old 12-17-2006, 03:07 AM   #9
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Hmmm, it's hard to say at such a young age. Especially with her being 14, she's very immature and still has a LOT to develop. I'd say keep being friends with her and if it's meant for you guys to be together after 5 years, then it's all the better. In the meantime, don't be surprised if she starts seeing other guys too. It's natural at that age. No one is really serious. You'll have plenty of opportunities just as she will.
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Old 12-17-2006, 11:40 AM   #10
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Default Re: relationship questions

Quote:
Originally Posted by mark thorpe
...... it may not be a big age difference.. but she is a minor, and you are an adult.. technically, you could be done for this..


apart from the legalities.. how long have you known her? IMO, it sounds like its far too early to be thinking about 'marrige'..



one tip i would give you, is that when your over 18, be very careful.. i dont know what their like over there with things like this, but over here, you could end up being screwed..


give it time, see how it works out.... good luck
in the US its 18, i believe hes in the US, right?
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