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Old 12-17-2006, 05:00 AM   #1
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Default Redneck Challenge

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon
tree that will support a 10 pound possum.

2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when
placed on blocks in your front yard?

(A) '65 Ford Fairlane

(B) '69 Chevrolet Chevelle

(C) '64 Pontiac GTO.

3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a
capacity of 20 gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car
radiators are required to condense the product?

4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700
RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470
per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14
inches. How many Budweisers will be drunk before the trees are cut down?

5. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch
centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch
length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the
porch collapses, how many dogs will be killed?

6. A man owns a Georgia house and 3.7 acres of land in a
hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each
of his grown children place a mobile home on the man's land and still
have enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front?

7. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards
down a steep slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given
average traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability
that it will strike a vehicle with a muffler?

8. With a gene pool reduction of 7.5% per generation,
how long will it take a town which has been bypassed by the Interstate
to breed a country-western singer?

I betcha thought that there test was gonna be an easy
one, didn't ya? It's okay if'n ya didn't do all that well. Just goes to
show ya... There's a hole heap of things that big city book-learning
don't prepare ya for in this life. As an added bonus for taking the
"REDNECK CHALLENGE", here's some southerly advice that may come in handy
down the road a piece... Next time you are too drunk to drive, walk to
the nearest pizza shop and place an order. When they go to deliver it,
catch a ride home with them.
. ()()()()
./l ,[_\_\ ],
l---L ()lllllll()-
()_) ()_)--o-)_)
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