jmacavali
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Wow too funny.
-George Carlin quotes are funny too...I've bolded my favorites
The plural of foot is feet, but the plural of boot is boots (beet??),
A vegetable farmer is a person whose job is to produce produce,
Your nose can run and your feet can smell,
"In action" and "inaction" are opposites,
You can be overwhelmed, but not whelmed,
"Plague" has one syllable but "ague" has two,
"ghoti" can be pronounced "fish" (see George Bernard Shaw),
"ough" has at least five different pronunciations.
Frosted Flakes have frosting, but pitted prunes DON'T have pits.
If you were driving the speed of light and you turned your headlights on, what would happen?
Why is it when you transport something by car it is called a shipment, but when you transports something by ship it's called cargo?
Why do you drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
Why aren't airplanes made out of the same material that is used to make the indestructible little black boxes that record the flight info?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?
If "con" is the opposite of "pro", is Congress the opposite of progress?
If firefighters fight fires and crime fighters fight crime, what do freedom fighters fight?
Why are there Braille signs on drive-up ATM's?
How come you never hear about gruntled employees?
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
What's another word for synonym?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
How can there be self-help GROUPS?
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
Hermits have no peer pressure.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Why do they call it a "building" It looks like they're finished. Why isn't it called a "built'?
What's another word for "thesaurus"?
Common sense isn't so common.
"Have you noticed...anyone going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster an you is a maniac?"
Do vegetarians eat animal cookies?
Why are there floatation devices instead of parachutes on an airplane?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work?
-George Carlin quotes are funny too...I've bolded my favorites
The plural of foot is feet, but the plural of boot is boots (beet??),
A vegetable farmer is a person whose job is to produce produce,
Your nose can run and your feet can smell,
"In action" and "inaction" are opposites,
You can be overwhelmed, but not whelmed,
"Plague" has one syllable but "ague" has two,
"ghoti" can be pronounced "fish" (see George Bernard Shaw),
"ough" has at least five different pronunciations.
Frosted Flakes have frosting, but pitted prunes DON'T have pits.
If you were driving the speed of light and you turned your headlights on, what would happen?
Why is it when you transport something by car it is called a shipment, but when you transports something by ship it's called cargo?
Why do you drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
Why aren't airplanes made out of the same material that is used to make the indestructible little black boxes that record the flight info?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?
If "con" is the opposite of "pro", is Congress the opposite of progress?
If firefighters fight fires and crime fighters fight crime, what do freedom fighters fight?
Why are there Braille signs on drive-up ATM's?
How come you never hear about gruntled employees?
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
What's another word for synonym?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
How can there be self-help GROUPS?
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
Hermits have no peer pressure.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Why do they call it a "building" It looks like they're finished. Why isn't it called a "built'?
What's another word for "thesaurus"?
Common sense isn't so common.
"Have you noticed...anyone going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster an you is a maniac?"
Do vegetarians eat animal cookies?
Why are there floatation devices instead of parachutes on an airplane?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work?
