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Old 06-03-2011, 11:25 PM   #1
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 3,913
Angry Online Chat Support

No, I didn't reset your password while you weren't using our system... you forgot it.
No, your account is still active, your caps lock is on though, and that's why you're unable to login.
No, I can't give you free service because your mother is dying, because I'm pretty sure she's not.
No, I'm not going to give you a refund because you didn't read our Terms of Use yet still agreed to them.
No, I'm not a robot... besides, that does not compute. (And yes, I've sent that response before)
No, I won't give you my full name so you can spam my facebook account.
No, I don't work out of Singapore, but thanks for asking.
No, you can't make Skype calls because only an @#$ would do that on a plane and so we've blocked you from being an !@#.
No, even if Southwest did say you could get it for free because you're in first class, you're still no better than the guy in coach who paid for it.
No, I'm not going to print all of your receipts for you, you can print them from our website by clicking the "Print Receipt" button.

Maybe, the slow speeds could be due to the giant storm you're flying over, and yes, I can see where your flight is and the weather... at the same time.
Maybe, your IT could have your laptop setup to not allow secured sites, and that's why you can't purchase a pass.
Maybe, you should talk to your IT department.

Sure, you can purchase whatever you want, but read the Terms of Use.
Sure, the FAQ's would be a great place to start if you're wondering what you can do with our service.
Sure, I'll call your daughter to tell her your going to be late, but you still can't have free service.

Yes, you did purchase the wrong pass and now I have to fix it.
Yup, we tested our purchase path with 9 year old kids with down syndrome and they got online.
Yes, you should feel stupid.

Now, please completely power down your device for at least 5 minutes. After that, you can login again and there should be no trouble.

Me: You'd think as the dominant species we wouldn't be so effing stupid.
J: We're just intelligent enough to be completely effing stupid.
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Old 06-04-2011, 02:32 AM   #2
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Default Re: Online Chat Support


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Old 06-05-2011, 06:58 AM   #3
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Location: USA
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Default Re: Online Chat Support

I could only imagine all the stupid problems you have to or whoever has to deal with any on call or online chat support.
USAF KC-135R Crew Chief
i7 2770 @ 3.4ghz, Geforce GTX 560 ti, 8GB DDR3 1600, SSD 120gb, cup holder
I would imagine if you could understand Morse Code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy
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