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Old 06-28-2010, 10:15 PM   #1
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Default Oddly antisocial

I've asked a few people and everyone thinks this is strange, anyone else like me or how hopefully how to correct it?
I cannot for the life of me initiate conversation with someone i dont know. For example all through high school. If i didnt know anyone sitting around me I would not start up small talk and thus make friends like most people. I would sit there and listen to my ipod like i was alone in the room. However if someone spoke to me I can keep a conversation going and carry from there, ask someone if they wanna go for a coffee after class, etc. Heck, even sometimes I'll walk by my friends with just a casual nod and a smile because i cant seem to know what to say.
Thats not to say i dont WANT to talk to people, by all means I do, I'm a very outgoing and confident guy around my circle of friends, hell I never shut up around people I know well. even in high school I always wanted to talk to that person sitting beside me but I honestly had/have absolutely no clue what the heck to say without seeming creepy or something... I've never understood how someone can randomly walk up and begin talking to a stranger endlessly. although Ive always wanted to I have no clue where to begin.

Am I weird or what? lol
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Old 06-28-2010, 10:30 PM   #2
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Default Re: Oddly antisocial

Eh, I'm the same way. A little liquid courage can help... I talk to some really random people at parties sometimes. People I would never talk to otherwise if I was sitting next to them in class or something.
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Old 06-28-2010, 11:27 PM   #3
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Default Re: Oddly antisocial

Quote:
Originally Posted by winslow33 View Post
I've asked a few people and everyone thinks this is strange, anyone else like me or how hopefully how to correct it?
I cannot for the life of me initiate conversation with someone i dont know. For example all through high school. If i didnt know anyone sitting around me I would not start up small talk and thus make friends like most people. I would sit there and listen to my ipod like i was alone in the room. However if someone spoke to me I can keep a conversation going and carry from there, ask someone if they wanna go for a coffee after class, etc. Heck, even sometimes I'll walk by my friends with just a casual nod and a smile because i cant seem to know what to say.
Thats not to say i dont WANT to talk to people, by all means I do, I'm a very outgoing and confident guy around my circle of friends, hell I never shut up around people I know well. even in high school I always wanted to talk to that person sitting beside me but I honestly had/have absolutely no clue what the heck to say without seeming creepy or something... I've never understood how someone can randomly walk up and begin talking to a stranger endlessly. although Ive always wanted to I have no clue where to begin.

Am I weird or what? lol
Same experience here
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Old 06-28-2010, 11:34 PM   #4
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Default Re: Oddly antisocial

Yeah, I'm the same way too.

To make it worse, I'm at the stage of life now where I'm lookin for a significant other..
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Old 06-29-2010, 01:11 AM   #5
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Default Re: Oddly antisocial

Im the exact same, i have tons of trouble making new friends. At least now i know that im not the only person who has that problem
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Old 06-29-2010, 01:34 AM   #6
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Default Re: Oddly antisocial

That isn't antisocial. Antisocial means sociopathic behavior. What you are describing is just shyness.

I have sorta the same problem, just much worse. I am basically scared of people. At school, I would always try to find the place where there werethe least people, and go sit in the corner there. If anyone I don't know tries to talk to me, I ignore them or try to end the conversation as fast as possible. Lately it's gotten to the point where I can't even talk on the phone without feeling really weird, and I have lost all communication with everyone except one friend, who I might talk to through email once a week or so. Lately I find myself not even wanting to leave the house because I might be seen by people. It's really hard to explain, and I would rather not get into any more details on here.

I guess my advice is to keep communication with your friends, because things will get really out of hand if you don't.
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Old 06-29-2010, 02:11 AM   #7
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Default Re: Oddly antisocial

I used to be shy and my best bro is extremly shy. I find find life is a bit easier if you have a little confidence. I will admit however, I still start to shy up when someone bothers me about a girl I like. There nothing bad about being shy (socially or in-general). Sometimes it's actually nice being outside of a situation.
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Old 06-29-2010, 03:41 AM   #8
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Default Re: Oddly antisocial

I think what you're describing is far more normal than you think - I'd even go as far as to say most people probably feel a bit awkward initiating conversation with someone they don't know! I certainly would. You can make friends through other means though - friends of friends for instance (it's how I've been introduced to most of mine!)
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Old 06-29-2010, 04:07 AM   #9
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Default Re: Oddly antisocial

A little confidence goes a long way I think. I used to be shy but now I think as i'm getting old I just give a sh*t a lot less about what people think so I will pretty much talk to who ever I feel. When you do it once it gets easier and I find it much easier to talk to the older generation than the younger generation for all the 'hoodies' and street talking BS! The last time I struck up conversation I had to also end it, in a pleasant way of course, as we over talked about the poor services and society.

And instead of nodding say hello or hi. I try and make a comment as well, something that will make that person walk away and think about what you just said.

A mate also taught me a very long time ago: When you talk to someone look at their eyes long enough to figure out what colour eyes they have, whether its a brief hello of a conversation.

Give it a go.
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Old 06-29-2010, 04:12 AM   #10
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Default Re: Oddly antisocial

Your not the only one, some people do it's just being shy and sometimes you can be like that for a while. I'm sure you'll get over it sooner or later.
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