What to do on an airplane when you find yourself seated next to a real jerk:
1. Take out your laptop.
2. Slowly open your laptop.
3. Turn it on.
4. Make certain your neighbor is watching
5. Open your internet browser.
6. Close your eyes for a few moments, open them and then look up to the sky, or the heavens if you will.
7. Breathe deeply and open the site http://www.myit-media.de/the_end.html
8. Look at the expression on your neighbor's face.