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Old 01-27-2006, 10:45 PM   #1
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Default My poems... (long)

Well, I would like to know what all of you think of my poems!
11 of them, sorry for makin it so long... 242 lines of poetry!

It seemed to be the worst day of my life
I walked down the halls
and people would move
just move out of the way
As if they could sense
the anger steaming off of me

I walked with my head tilted
my eyes wide open
and bangs hanging in my eyes
I would ignore the insults
that people would throw at me
and hold my fists tight, ready for a fight

The ones I most hate
were smart to stay out of my way
Because if I lay eyes on them, if they got close
I would have pounded their faces
Smashed em down to the ground
and rub them in the dirt

I was betrayed, hated, and hurt
I felt as if, the world would end
As if I had no friends, no one who felt
I believed, no one has felt as I have
I felt alone in this world
This cruel, uncaring world

When others were active
I sat, and sulked, hating myself
Hating just for being born, being here
My anger, it turned to grief
And I saw tears, one by one
drop onto the floor, making a small puddle

Others asked what was wrong
I politely said, "Go away", "** off"
Ignoring their comments
to try to cheer me up
Cause all I could focus on then
was what others have said, and blamed it on all

My anger, it was raging
And it all turned to grief
I felt guilty, evil, and hurt
I regret, the people I insulted
Those I harrassed, just because others did to me
And I couldn't bring myself to say, "Sorry"

I ask my self, "Is it realy that bad?"
I wish there was some one, I could share
Some one, that has felt as I
That they could symphasize, and relate
I feel, as if I need help, from a friend...
And that I'm, just alone, in this world

It must be
That all flows together
My days, my nights
they seem to bee the same
My emotions
what is joy?
what is grief?
Is it all the same?

And it repeats
Day after day
everything different
My activities
Are the same
every day, week, month
will it end?

Is there a way
To make change
While still keeping
what you have
A way to stress
the important
in your life
To make it different
"My Superiors"

Is what I think of you
I thought we could be at one time
Is what we are now

Is what girls think of you
Is what your peers see
Is what all beleive

My views are different
Am I the only one to see the truth?
Could they realy have not seen?
Or is it me that is at fault?
"Human Painting"

A stranger met, I will paint
take away the common medium
and replace with words
This I will paint, my friend

I will choose hope for the background
For all those who deny it
And a streak of Joy
because you have suffered

Future, that'll be the time of day
for you look to the past
And I'll paint the clouds with answers
because of your undying questions

You will be wading through love
for you seem to lack it
and carrying respect
because you deserve it
"Chances" (lyrical)

I look one way, see a chance
and look the other... well its the life I had
I turn around to take that chance
And its gone, Yes! It's realy gone

My life... seems to have no direction
Making my own path in the woods
Risk the chance and lose it all
play it safe? and lose the chance

It's a complicated network of choices
Many branches on the fruitful tree
many snakes on the fruitful tree
take your choice, life's the fruitful tree

Well, im walking down the street
Looken for my house, but they all look the same
Who's my friends? who's my foes?
Do I even need my friends? and who knows?
"Force my Words" (lyrical)

I am suppressed, under a fire of lust
I open my lips, as to say my thoughts
and I force my head, toward your way
and my mouth goes dry, and I feel speechless
I want to say my feelings, and breathing becomes hard
and your smile alone, just freeze my heart

and I like you, can't you see?
I feel obsessed, the benign eyes
I can't hold myself, any longer
my mind is on you, I wanna be beside you
days go on, seconds wasted from you
the more I wait, I want you more!

I wanna say the words, to start it all
I wanna share the deepest, of my secrets
I want some one, to call my own
a person to, sooth my pain
some one to, suit their needs

This person is you, if I could tell you
I just need to, force my words
You, are the person for me
and I like you, do you like me?
"unnamed" (lyrical)

Tired of the bands comming out
that don't know *** 'bout life
they've always had their way
Never learned pain for themselves
They think they know what they feel
cept deep down they feel... they don't feel

They have their friends(and leave me all alone)
they believe they're righteous(and throw me in the dirt)
they have their cliques(and yet it seems more like a cult)
there intelegence, beauty, and all they never realy had!
is what keeps me out of their esoteric circle
What is their secret(then again I don't give a ***!)

I am left alone sitting in the corner
forced their by their words and actions
These are my memories, don't believe any are happy
and you ruin my chances of becomming free
you locked me in a dungeon of my own mind

I have my beliefs and you have yours
I have my style and you have yours
I do what I want and so do you
I don't like you

You won't... You won't let me join the group
You won't... You won't let me talk to you
You won't... You won't let me be me

The clock ticks
The crickets chirp
My mind wanders
and eyes closed

Hours after
still awake
Asking questions
with no answer

Do I dream?
I don't remember
Darkness closes
in around me

Shadows merge
and form monsters
imagination grasps
and fear births

Sad storys
on the news
fill my mind
and chase rest

don't think it works
depression settles
feelings break

eyes can't open
thoughts lay down
my mind relaxes
as dawn emerges

Everything is built of little peices
Take time, build it up
If you rush, the cards will fall
Take small steps
On the stairs
to your dreams

You hate you take
You harrass and steal
You have no concious, No soul
You don't care about the world
You're only aware of yourself

You don't care about others feelings
You don't care about what they want
You Love you give
You compliment and present

You have heart, a strong soul
You care about the world
You are the least selfish of them all
You care when others are teased
You give them what they desire

The world is full of people
some are good and some are bad
I have my friends
And I have my foes

My enemies
are my friends
and my friends
are my rivals

There is a rythem to being social
fading in and out
The unstable in us all
is what keeps it fresh

Decide whats cool
Decide whats geek
Decide my life
Decide my fate

You like
You hate
You experience
Just take a taste

I am joyful when in wake
And cry when aware
I feel your words
And I don't care

You talk about your life
You converse with friends
You keep in circles
explore, my friend
Thanks for the long read!

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Old 01-28-2006, 01:22 AM   #2
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Default Re: My poems... (long)

Took me a while to read but it was well worth it!

I personally love your poetry/peoms and how you write,
For a few reasons so far that ill metion is you seem to write so strongly and it doesnt not make sense, what i mean is is so well written! And follows so so well.

I really do like them, great great work!

Some of the peoms that are my favs and i acutally surprisingly relate to are; Structure,
Short and sweet and i really like,

And Anger'
All are very *very* strong but especially Anger i really like that <3

But a question how do you mean by
“and bangs hanging in my eyes”
I know not all poetry are sposed to or meant to make sense as is personal and what have you, to yourself but im just wondering,
And others:
"Force my Words" (lyrical)
"unnamed" (lyrical)

I really really like..

Thanks alot* for sharing these

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Old 01-28-2006, 01:36 AM   #3
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Default Re: My poems... (long)

"and bangs hanging in my eyes"
The hair that hangs in front/whatever... Just kinda hangs right in front of my eyes, the hair...
And it was also supposed to kinda mean, I was trying to cover myself up, masking my sadness/sorrow/whatever...

And thanks. This means more to me then most other things, as these being personal...
Beating Halo 2 on legendary is great, getting a 100% on a test when others get a mere 50% is awsome, but when others say they love your poetry, there realy isn't anything else like it. They are complimenting you yourself, values/morals, and for some: your soul!
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Old 01-28-2006, 03:37 AM   #4
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Default Re: My poems... (long)

Hey man those are great
My favourites include:
"Force my words"

Well done
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Old 01-28-2006, 04:26 AM   #5
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Default Re: My poems... (long)

Wow, some vrey good stuff there
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Old 01-28-2006, 04:49 AM   #6
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Default Re: My poems... (long)

bravo! i did enjoy reading all of them!
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Old 01-30-2006, 07:43 PM   #7
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Default Re: My poems... (long)

can you say "emo"? no offence, but those poems seem kinda complainy. i didnt bother to read em all, but they are very emo.

my advice: read some lewis carrol.
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Old 01-31-2006, 07:58 PM   #8
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Default Re: My poems... (long)

Mr. Monger... If you meant emo rock, then HELL no.
I just have lots of emotions that get bottled up. I can never realy talk to any one about them cause of how I am. I'm to shy. Poetry is realy the way I get my emotions out.
And not all of them are about my emotions, they are also about my morals and values, and my beliefs.
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Old 01-31-2006, 08:07 PM   #9
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Default Re: My poems... (long)

Mr. Monger, there is a difference between emo and emotions. Emo is when you are like OMG MY LIFE SUX AHH I CANT LIVE AGAIN!!!! I CUT AND HATE MYSELF. But he is expressing his emotions and how he feels.
Very good work

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