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Old 05-07-2009, 07:51 PM   #21
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Default Re: Marriage = happiness?

I'm in the same boat as a lot of you. What is the big excitement with a marriage?
You ask a lot of girls, and its because they want to go through the experience of getting a dress/walking up the aisle, etc, but AFTER that?

Yet... you can do everything now pretty much that you can do when married, when not.

I can't explain why, but I just don't get it. You can still love each other/be together either way.

But you should never decide to marry anyway, unless you are 100% sure. Don't go marrying after 5 years. Why not 10 for example?
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Old 05-07-2009, 07:55 PM   #22
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Default Re: Marriage = happiness?

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Why marry anyway ?
I aim nver to marry , however i still want to have a long term relationship and have kids , I just dont see how signing a piece of paper to say i will marry you can bring you closer to another person .or how spending hundreds or maybe even thousands on a ring can bring you any closer to someone . And its all expensive to get married and have a honeymoon etc . I would rather save my money to bring up kids or buy myself something
Personally i think it would be easier , say things dont work out you can just pack up your shit and move on assuming there arent kids involved none of this divorce bs you never have to see them again unless kids are involved
I find most people hypocritical in their approach to it anyway because they are completely non relgigious and yet they will go along and get married in a church before God , surely if you dont believe then his blessing means nothing to you anyway

You dont need to be married to someone to love them and you dont have to love someone to marry them
Good words of advice there.

Also, say the relationship doesn't work out in 6 years or something (hypothetically speaking), you then have no liability. That means when you walk out, there's no insurances you have to pay, all debt is the other person's problem, no tens of thousands of dollars spent on divorce lawyers, no maintenance, or anything. And if you have kids, visiting is not decided by the courts, it's decided by you if you want it.
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Old 05-07-2009, 08:09 PM   #23
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Default Re: Marriage = happiness?

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Good words of advice there.

Also, say the relationship doesn't work out in 6 years or something (hypothetically speaking), you then have no liability. That means when you walk out, there's no insurances you have to pay, all debt is the other person's problem, no tens of thousands of dollars spent on divorce lawyers, no maintenance, or anything. And if you have kids, visiting is not decided by the courts, it's decided by you if you want it.
Exactly heres my thinking
If you are married and you want a divroce chances are the other person has done something so bad that you can bear living with them any more so why would you want to spend time trying to negotiate a settlement with them when ths other way works just fine you pack up your crap and get outta there
If ther are kids involved then surely they would rather( and it would be better for them ) mum and dad worked out a plan of who would look after the kids and when they would see the kids rather than all of the bitterness that goes on when a divorce procedding is in play
I would always say when you have kids you have a responsability to that child for the rest of its childhood until it becomes an adult so you should always see your kids even if you arent the one looking after them , and i would always contribute money to any child of mines upbringing wether i lived with them/the mother or not
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Old 05-07-2009, 08:12 PM   #24
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Default Re: Marriage = happiness?

To answer the thread completly.

Does marriage = happiness? No

Does being together and loving each other = happiness? Yes
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Old 05-07-2009, 08:36 PM   #25
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Default Re: Marriage = happiness?

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Exactly heres my thinking
If you are married and you want a divroce chances are the other person has done something so bad that you can bear living with them any more so why would you want to spend time trying to negotiate a settlement with them when ths other way works just fine you pack up your crap and get outta there
In Australia it doesn't matter if you are married or not each person in a relationship is legally entitled to 50% off all possessions provided a couple has been living together longer than 6 months.
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Old 05-07-2009, 09:31 PM   #26
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Default Re: Marriage = happiness?

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In Australia it doesn't matter if you are married or not each person in a relationship is legally entitled to 50% off all possessions provided a couple has been living together longer than 6 months.
What the hell? In Canada if you have been living together for more than 6 months it's a common law relationship, but you still have your own posessions.
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Old 05-07-2009, 09:34 PM   #27
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In Australia it doesn't matter if you are married or not each person in a relationship is legally entitled to 50% off all possessions provided a couple has been living together longer than 6 months.
Well, that sucks.
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Old 05-07-2009, 10:55 PM   #28
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Default Re: Marriage = happiness?

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Originally Posted by muz View Post
Why marry anyway ?
I aim nver to marry , however i still want to have a long term relationship and have kids , I just dont see how signing a piece of paper to say i will marry you can bring you closer to another person .or how spending hundreds or maybe even thousands on a ring can bring you any closer to someone . And its all expensive to get married and have a honeymoon etc . I would rather save my money to bring up kids or buy myself something
Personally i think it would be easier , say things dont work out you can just pack up your shit and move on assuming there arent kids involved none of this divorce bs you never have to see them again unless kids are involved
I find most people hypocritical in their approach to it anyway because they are completely non relgigious and yet they will go along and get married in a church before God , surely if you dont believe then his blessing means nothing to you anyway

You dont need to be married to someone to love them and you dont have to love someone to marry them
You bring up very good points that I actually do in fact agree with and some I do not. In God's eyes, what makes a marriage a "marriage"?" Some legal piece of document? Hardly. It is something much greater than that but that's in a whole different ballpark. Everyone in this world is a hypocrite at some point, including myself. Im not exempt from the sins of this world and Im some cases, i'll struggle in certain areas more than anyone else and vice versa. A poster above really put everything into perspective. Does marriage equal happiness alone? No. But love does.
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Old 05-08-2009, 12:34 AM   #29
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Default Re: Marriage = happiness?

That kinda sucks about the common law in Australia. Although I would totally LMAFFFFFO if my dad was there and he and his girlfriend (wife, living together for 3 years) were to split up. He loses half his stuff. Hahahaha!
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Old 05-08-2009, 03:20 AM   #30
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You bring up very good points that I actually do in fact agree with and some I do not. In God's eyes, what makes a marriage a "marriage"?" Some legal piece of document? Hardly. It is something much greater than that but that's in a whole different ballpark. Everyone in this world is a hypocrite at some point, including myself. Im not exempt from the sins of this world and Im some cases, i'll struggle in certain areas more than anyone else and vice versa. A poster above really put everything into perspective. Does marriage equal happiness alone? No. But love does.
But if you where hapilly in love with someone and wanted to spend the rest of your life with this person how would going through an out of date ceremony make you ny closer to that person or how could it mean anything to you . Nothing changes when you go through the ceremony except you are know considered married but IMO the relationship woud be no different from before

And yes sure we are all hypocrites at some point however i know the times i have been hyportical i have not relaised before i went through with the actions and i find it highly hypocritical to now believe in any form of religion all of your life and then all of a sudden wish to get maried with God as your whitness and people must realise this , you have never been in a church all your life then suddenly you want to be in one
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