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Old 08-16-2007, 03:15 PM   #441
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Default Re: Jokes Thread

These aren't really jokes, just funny things me and my friends have read on bathroom walls

-Here I sat all broken hearted.
Tried to sh*t, but only farted.
So today I took a chance.
Now I say "I sh*t my pants!".

-Of all the people beneath the skies,
the sh*t house poet I most despise. He comes in here to write his wit,
while men with brains come here to sh*t

-Here i sit brokenhearted
spent a penny, but only farted.

-They paint these walls to cover my pen,
but the sh*t house poet has struck again!

the people who thought those up are real men/boys of wit
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Old 08-16-2007, 03:16 PM   #442
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Default Re: Jokes Thread

Yes because girls don't fart or poop. We all know that.

As for those jokes. Was this like a poetry-fest bathroom?
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Old 08-16-2007, 03:20 PM   #443
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I'm not sure...they were limericks other people had wrote on bathroom stalls in restraunts lol
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Old 08-16-2007, 03:35 PM   #444
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Default Re: Jokes Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ahyoka View Post
These aren't really jokes, just funny things me and my friends have read on bathroom walls

-Here I sat all broken hearted.
Tried to sh*t, but only farted.
So today I took a chance.
Now I say "I sh*t my pants!".

-Of all the people beneath the skies,
the sh*t house poet I most despise. He comes in here to write his wit,
while men with brains come here to sh*t

-Here i sit brokenhearted
spent a penny, but only farted.

-They paint these walls to cover my pen,
but the sh*t house poet has struck again!

the people who thought those up are real men/boys of wit
Hardly, I like the clean one it goes; "I like grils"....."you mean girls"....."hey, what's wrong with us grils??"
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Old 08-16-2007, 07:23 PM   #445
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Default Re: Jokes Thread

The Man With No Voice


One night, a man with no voice and his friend went to a bar. The men at the bar wanted to know what he would like in a woman. He pointed to his head. His friend explained that he wanted a smart woman. Then, he rubbed his thumb on the palm of his hand. His friend explained that he wanted a woman with money. Then, he opened his hands wide, bent his fingers, and made them cupped. He bounced them under his chest. His friend looked at him kinda wierd.

"What the heck do you want a woman with arthritis for?"
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Old 08-16-2007, 07:28 PM   #446
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Default Re: Jokes Thread

Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0

MEMORANDUM RE: Computer Software Warning
Last year a friend of mine upgraded GirlFriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other applications. He is only now noticing that Wife 1.0 also is spawning Child-Processes which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the productbrochure or the documentation, though other users have informed him that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application. Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself such that it is always launched at system initialization where it can monitor all other system activity. He's finding that some applications such as PokerNight 8.3, BeerBash 2.5, and PubNight 7.0 are no longer able to run in the system at all, crashing the system when selected (even though they always worked fine before). At installation, Wife 1.0 provides no option as to the installation of undesired Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw 55.8 and BrotherInLaw Beta release. Also, system performance seems to diminish with each passing day.
Some features he'd like to see in the upcoming Wife 2.0. - A 'Don't remind me again' button - Minimize button - An install shield feature that allows Wife 2.0 to be installed with the option to uninstall at anytime without the loss of cache and other system resources. - An option to run the network driver in promiscuous mode which would allow the systems hardware probe feature to be much more useful.
I myself decided to avoid all of the headaches associated with Wife 1.0 by sticking with GirlFriend 2.0. Even here, however, I found many problems. Apparently you cannot install GirlFriend 2.0 on top of GirlFriend 1.0. You must uninstall GirlFriend 1.0 first. Other users say this is a long standing bug which I should have been aware of. Apparently the versions of GirlFriend have conflicts over shared use of the I/O port. You think they would have fixed such a stupid bug by now. To make matters worse, The uninstall program for GirlFriend 1.0 doesn't work very well leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system. Another thing that sucks - all versions of GirlFriend continually pop up little annoying messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0
***** BUG WARNING ******** Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.1 will refuse to install, claiming insufficient resources.
*** BUG WORK-AROUNDS *************** To avoid the above bug, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a different system and never run any file transfer applications such as LapLink 6.0. Also, beware of similar shareware applications that have beenknown to carry viruses that may affect Wife 1.0. Another solution would be to run Mistress 1.0 via a UseNet provider under an anonymous name. Here again, beware of the viruses which can accidentally be downloaded from the UseNet.
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Old 08-17-2007, 10:42 PM   #447
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Default Re: Jokes Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thelis View Post
Yes because girls don't fart or poop. We all know that.

As for those jokes. Was this like a poetry-fest bathroom?
Then what are their asses for?

For dancing!
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Old 08-17-2007, 11:11 PM   #448
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Default Re: Jokes Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thelis View Post
Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0

MEMORANDUM RE: Computer Software Warning
Last year a friend of mine upgraded GirlFriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other applications. He is only now noticing that Wife 1.0 also is spawning Child-Processes which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the productbrochure or the documentation, though other users have informed him that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application. Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself such that it is always launched at system initialization where it can monitor all other system activity. He's finding that some applications such as PokerNight 8.3, BeerBash 2.5, and PubNight 7.0 are no longer able to run in the system at all, crashing the system when selected (even though they always worked fine before). At installation, Wife 1.0 provides no option as to the installation of undesired Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw 55.8 and BrotherInLaw Beta release. Also, system performance seems to diminish with each passing day.
Some features he'd like to see in the upcoming Wife 2.0. - A 'Don't remind me again' button - Minimize button - An install shield feature that allows Wife 2.0 to be installed with the option to uninstall at anytime without the loss of cache and other system resources. - An option to run the network driver in promiscuous mode which would allow the systems hardware probe feature to be much more useful.
I myself decided to avoid all of the headaches associated with Wife 1.0 by sticking with GirlFriend 2.0. Even here, however, I found many problems. Apparently you cannot install GirlFriend 2.0 on top of GirlFriend 1.0. You must uninstall GirlFriend 1.0 first. Other users say this is a long standing bug which I should have been aware of. Apparently the versions of GirlFriend have conflicts over shared use of the I/O port. You think they would have fixed such a stupid bug by now. To make matters worse, The uninstall program for GirlFriend 1.0 doesn't work very well leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system. Another thing that sucks - all versions of GirlFriend continually pop up little annoying messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0
***** BUG WARNING ******** Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.1 will refuse to install, claiming insufficient resources.
*** BUG WORK-AROUNDS *************** To avoid the above bug, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a different system and never run any file transfer applications such as LapLink 6.0. Also, beware of similar shareware applications that have beenknown to carry viruses that may affect Wife 1.0. Another solution would be to run Mistress 1.0 via a UseNet provider under an anonymous name. Here again, beware of the viruses which can accidentally be downloaded from the UseNet.
from what ive been told, so true!
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Old 08-18-2007, 06:19 AM   #449
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Default Re: Jokes Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Juice View Post
Then what are their asses for?

For dancing!
for decoration
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Old 08-18-2007, 07:11 AM   #450
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dude_se View Post
for decoration
ahahhaah!
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