Jokes Thread

lol my dad's a mechanical engineer..... needless to say he recived all of those jokes.
 
A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.

The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.

The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.

Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.

Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.

To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.

The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"

The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"
 
GlasseyeUK said:
A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.

The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.

The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.

Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.

Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.

To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.

The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"

The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"


Wow...and to think, this had to have been based upon SOME kind of a truth. I see blondes do some of the absolute stupidest things sometimes.
 
Jenox said:
lol I wonder what he'll say. :D

lol he wasn't ammused, but i did happen to send it to his co-workers and reminded them of what he is.

the replys from them have been hilarious. its been from "Some of those really sound like your dad" to "Did some one follow him around for a week and record the stupid s*** he says??"
 
Alter boys confession

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman."

The priest asks, "Is that you, little Johnny Parisi?"

"Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the woman you were with?"
"I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Johnny, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now.

"Was it Tina Minetti?"
"I cannot say."

"Was it Teresa Volpe?"
"I'll never tell."

"Was it Nina Capelli?"
"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."

"Was it Cathy Piriano?"
"My lips are sealed."

"Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?"
"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."

The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, Johnny Parisi, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone.
You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."

Johnny walks back to his pew, and his friend Nino slides over and whispers,

"What'd you get?"

"Four months vacation and five good leads."
:)
 
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