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Old 06-01-2007, 12:48 PM   #191
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Default Re: Jokes Thread

.
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Old 06-01-2007, 04:05 PM   #192
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Default Re: Jokes Thread

Haha, I love the bush one!
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Old 06-01-2007, 04:32 PM   #193
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Blimey Mike, who did you offend??,lol., I'm enjoying the jokes thread, who's the spoil-sport?, it's a JOKES thread for chrissakes!!
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Old 06-01-2007, 04:50 PM   #194
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Blimey Mike, who did you offend??,lol., I'm enjoying the jokes thread, who's the spoil-sport?, it's a JOKES thread for chrissakes!!
EH??? im confused, it was a double post, it even says so.
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Old 06-01-2007, 05:19 PM   #195
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EH??? im confused, it was a double post, it even says so.
Sorry, I didn't notice the edit explanation, I thought some prat was taking the thread too seriously.
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Old 06-02-2007, 09:30 AM   #196
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Sorry, I didn't notice the edit explanation, I thought some prat was taking the thread too seriously.
Na, this is one area where things run smoothly
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Old 06-02-2007, 10:42 AM   #197
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Default Re: Jokes Thread

Have you heard the one about the Muslim farmer?

The RSPCA were going to prosecute him for rustling new born sheep....





....




...



..
The farmer insisted they were ISLAMS

If this offends anyone then let me know and il remove it. Its not my intention to offend.
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Old 06-02-2007, 10:48 AM   #198
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Default Re: Jokes Thread

The Perfect Husband

Several men are in the members bar of a golf club. A cell phone on a chair nearby rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker- function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes."
WOMAN: "I'm in London shopping now and I've found this beautiful leather coat. It's only 500. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2007 models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "45,000."
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing. The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking 450,000."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and make them an offer, but just offer 400,000."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"
MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."


The man hangs up. The other men in the members bar are looking at him in astonishment.

Then he smiles and asks: "Anyone know whose phone this is?"
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Old 06-02-2007, 11:36 AM   #199
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Default Re: Jokes Thread

lmao that was a good one!
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Old 06-03-2007, 11:21 PM   #200
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A traveling salesman came upon an old farmer sitting on his porch, next to the farmer was a pig with only one leg.

The salesman was about to give his sales pitch when his curriosity got the best of him.

"Excuse me sir, but why does your pig only have one leg?" asked the salesman.

The Farmer replied, "Well sonny , I'll tell ya. One day I was out plowing the back 40 when my tractor overturned, pinning me underneath. I was losing blood and thought I would die when that pig came running. He dug and rooted around with his nose till he got me out and he dragged me back to the house. Saved my life that pig did!"

"Wow, that's really amazing" said the salesman, "but I still don't know why the pig only has one leg."

"Well I'll tell ya", said the farmer. "One night me and the wife were asleep at about 3am when a fire broke out in the kitchen. Well that pig broke down the door, came into our bedroom waking us up and getting us out before the fire could get us , saved our lives that pig did!"

"Well that really great sir, but why does the pig only have one leg?" Asked the Salesman.

The old Farmer looked at the Salesman and said "Well sonny, when you get a pig that smart, you don't want to eat him all at once!"
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