Why are married women heavier than single women? A: Single women comes home, see what’s in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what’s in bed and go to the fridge.
Wife went on vacation and told irresponsible husband to take care of her cat and old father.
The next day she called and this conversation took place:
Wife: Hi, how's the cat doing?
Husband: The cat is dead.
Wife: Oh m god, what's wrong with you? You could tell me this time that she's playing in the living room then the next day I call that she's sleeping on the sofa then sometime later that she died... why did you have to scare me like that in my first call and ruin my vacation? Anyways, how's my dad doing?
Even though you pretty much know what the punchline will be as soon as the wife tells the husband not to come right out and tell her that the cat is dead, it's still pretty funny.
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