Jokes N Stuff!
- Thread starter Draygoes
- Start date
Smart_Guy
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An anesthesia doctor (or whatever they are called) asked a women about her age:
Doc.: How old are you? This is important to give the dosage.
Woman: 25
Doc.: Accurate dosage is given depending on age. You sure?
Woman: It's 30
Doc.: It could cause serious side effects.
Woman: Okay, 38.
Doc.: wrong dosage could cause paralysis.
Woman: look, I'm 48. I'm not gonna add more even if it causes death!
Doc.: How old are you? This is important to give the dosage.
Woman: 25
Doc.: Accurate dosage is given depending on age. You sure?
Woman: It's 30
Doc.: It could cause serious side effects.
Woman: Okay, 38.
Doc.: wrong dosage could cause paralysis.
Woman: look, I'm 48. I'm not gonna add more even if it causes death!
Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
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Why are married women heavier than single women? A: Single women comes home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
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What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.39, and deer nuts are under a buck.
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Yo Mama is so bald, when you rub her head, you can see into the future.
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Why are married women heavier than single women? A: Single women comes home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
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What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.39, and deer nuts are under a buck.
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Yo Mama is so bald, when you rub her head, you can see into the future.
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Smart_Guy
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Wife went on vacation and told irresponsible husband to take care of her cat and old father.
The next day she called and this conversation took place:
Wife: Hi, how's the cat doing?
Husband: The cat is dead.
Wife: Oh m god, what's wrong with you? You could tell me this time that she's playing in the living room then the next day I call that she's sleeping on the sofa then sometime later that she died... why did you have to scare me like that in my first call and ruin my vacation? Anyways, how's my dad doing?
Husband: Um... he's playing in the living room.
The next day she called and this conversation took place:
Wife: Hi, how's the cat doing?
Husband: The cat is dead.
Wife: Oh m god, what's wrong with you? You could tell me this time that she's playing in the living room then the next day I call that she's sleeping on the sofa then sometime later that she died... why did you have to scare me like that in my first call and ruin my vacation? Anyways, how's my dad doing?
Husband: Um... he's playing in the living room.
Smart_Guy
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I wonder if the wife called two more time later asking about her father 
spellunker
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I've just seen a great offer on Amazon - if you buy all Adam & The Ants sheet music, they'll throw in a stand & deliver.
Smart_Guy
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It's official, I'm not getting married
This woman in the pic looks hot tho
---------- Post added at 03:51 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:46 PM ----------
Wife: Where are you?
Husband: Oh, I'm with my mother.
Wife: Okay, finish whatever your doing and come back home. You mother is here with us.
God have mercy on the husband's soul
