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Old 09-11-2015, 10:52 PM   #381
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Originally Posted by ~mr mixx~ View Post
Well that's life for ya...Blondes get the blunt of a lot of jokes.
I have a ton of blonde jokes. I have some blonde friends and I always have one ready.

RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."
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Old 09-11-2015, 10:56 PM   #382
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Nice one Donetao....
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Old 09-11-2015, 11:00 PM   #383
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Thanks! I think that is my favorite at the moment. LOL
I'm very glad you're back and posting on CF my friend
oops off topic again! LOL Darn it!
Seriously, glad you're back mixx!
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Old 09-11-2015, 11:08 PM   #384
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Thank man...appreciate that .
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Old 09-11-2015, 11:14 PM   #385
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Thank man...appreciate that .
You are very welcome my friend. Really what I'm hoping for is that you will take some of the heat off me and I'll get a break.
I seem to be the number one trouble maker here and I could use some relief.
Don't know how many more warnings before I get a ban warning.
Is that sarcastic enough SG?? I smiled when I said it. I'll smile again.
Then I'll hide!
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Old 09-12-2015, 12:03 AM   #386
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Guys, just be careful, okay? If a blonde feminist shows up here, we're in deep trouble

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You are very welcome my friend. Really what I'm hoping for is that you will take some of the heat off me and I'll get a break.
I seem to be the number one trouble maker here and I could use some relief.
That's cool, Gary
I'll PM you, please don't log off for a minute.
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Old 09-12-2015, 12:16 AM   #387
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Ok SG! I'm thinking I'm history here. Just had another thread deleted!
I'm a fighter but you can't win against City Hall
Thanks friend!
Gary!

---------- Post added at 11:16 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:12 PM ----------

Thanks SG! I just read your PM and you are probably right. I'm just tired of fighting City Hall. I can win against cancer, but I'll never win here.
Thank you special friend!
Gary
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Old 09-12-2015, 12:23 AM   #388
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I'm really pretty tough SG, but there are times when you throw in the towel.
I'm thinking this is one of those times my friend!
Gary.
PS Tomorrow is another day my friend!
This is kind of a joke! LOL
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Old 09-12-2015, 01:05 AM   #389
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This maybe my last off topic! I'm proud to have been a member here on CF. I made many friends and I'll never forget one of you and you can take that to the bank my friends.
Good night!
Gary
This is no joke! Sorry! But here's one I enjoy telling. It will be very hard to get me down, so give me your best shot!
The day finally arrives: Forrest Gump dies and goes to heaven. He is met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself. The gates are closed however, as Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.

St. Peter says, "Well Forrest, it's certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must inform you that the place is filling up fast, and we've been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The tests are fairly short, but you need to pass before you can get into Heaven."

Forrest responds "It shore is good to be here St.Peter. I was looking forward to this. Nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. Sure hope the test ain't too hard; life was a big enough test as it was." St. Peter goes on, "Yes, I know Forrest, but the test I have for you is only three questions.

1. What days of the week begin with the letter T?

2. How many seconds are there in a year?

3. What is God's first name?"

Forrest goes away to think the questions over. He returns the next day and goes up to St. Peter to try to answer the exam questions. St. Peter waves him up and says, "Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers."

Forrest says, "Well, the first one - how many days of the week begin with the letter "T"?

Shucks, that one's easy. That'd be Today and Tomorrow."

The Saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims, "Forrest! That's not what I was
thinking, but....you do have a point though, and I guess I didn't specify, so I give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?" asks St.Peter. "How many seconds in a year?"

"Now that one's harder," says Forrest, "But I thunk and thunk about that and I guess the only answer can be twelve."

Astounded St. Peter says,"Twelve!? Twelve!? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"

Forest says "Shucks, there's gotta be twelve: January second, February second, March second....."

"Hold it," interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you're going with this. And I guess I see your point, though that wasn't quite what I had in mind, but I'll give you credit for that one, too."

"Let's go on with the next and final question. Can you tell me God's first name?"

Forrest replied, "Andy."

"OK, OK," said a frustrated St.Peter, "I guess I can understand how you
came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world
did you came up with the name Andy as the first name of God?"
"That was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied "I learned it from the song.....

"ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN"
I always enjoy telling my friends this one. My favorite!
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Old 09-12-2015, 02:58 PM   #390
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First year students at Medical School were receiving Their first anatomy class with a real dead human body.
They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, "In medicine,it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor. The first is that you should not be disgusted by anything involving the human body."

The Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the anus of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck it in his mouth.

"Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students. The students initially freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually
took turns sticking a finger in the anus of the corpse and sucking on it.

When everyone finished, the Professor looked at the class and told them,
"The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger but sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention!"
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