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Old 09-05-2015, 12:05 PM   #371
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Smart_Guy View Post
Yeah, tourists are annoying
I hope that you got my PM...
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Old 09-05-2015, 12:15 PM   #372
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I hope that you got my PM...
I replied...
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Old 09-05-2015, 02:07 PM   #373
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Good one Donetao...
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Old 09-10-2015, 02:33 PM   #374
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Old 09-10-2015, 09:58 PM   #375
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''

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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, ''Shut up...you're next!''
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Old 09-11-2015, 05:02 AM   #376
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A stewardess said to a lady that her child is so cute it looks like a baby monkey. The woman complained to the pilot about it. The pilot came back to here humbly apologizing and told here "I'm really sorry ma'am, please give this banana to the baby as an apology".
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Old 09-11-2015, 06:04 PM   #377
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WHERE YOU LIVE MATTERS!

You may have heard on the news about a Southern California man who was put under 72-hour psychiatric observation when it was found he owned 100 guns and allegedly had 100,000 rounds of ammunition stored in his home.

The house also featured a secret escape tunnel.

By Southern California standards, someone owning 100,000 rounds is considered "mentally unstable."

In Michigan, he'd be called "The last white guy still living in Detroit".

In Arizona, he'd be called "an avid gun collector."

In Arkansas, he'd be called "a novice gun collector."

In Utah, he'd be called "moderately well prepared," but they'd probably reserve judgment until they made sure that he had a corresponding quantity of stored food."

In Kansas, he'd be "A guy down the road you would want to have for a friend."

In Montana, he'd be called "The neighborhood 'Go-To' guy."

In Idaho, he'd be called "a likely gubernatorial candidate."

In Georgia, he'd be called "an eligible bachelor."

In North Carolina, Virginia, W.Va., Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Missouri,
Wisconsin, Tennessee, Kentucky, Florida and South Carolina he would be called "a deer huntin' buddy."

And in Texas; he'd just be "Bubba, who's a little short on ammo."
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Old 09-11-2015, 10:26 PM   #378
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A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied,
“You know, it’s the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer.”
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Old 09-11-2015, 10:45 PM   #379
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That's really bad mixx! LOL
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Old 09-11-2015, 10:48 PM   #380
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Well that's life for ya...Blondes get the blunt of a lot of jokes.
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