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Old 06-03-2015, 07:20 PM   #311
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Default Re: Jokes N Stuff!

Twist on rice phone fix...
If your phone gets wet, leave it overnight in a bag of rice.
It'll attract an Asian, who will fix it.
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Old 06-10-2015, 02:02 PM   #312
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Three heavily drunk guys stopped a taxi to go home (or where ever haha).

The taxi driver realized they were drunk and decided to trick them and make easy money.

So the driver started the engine then turned it off and told them: "okay, we arrived".

One of the drunk guys gave the driver money, the second said "thank you" and the third went to the driver and punched him in the face.

The driver thought "shoot, this one is sober, I'm in trouble".

That third one looked at the driver and told him "next time don't drive too fast like that".

================================================

A drunk was driving his car going in circles in the same spot. Someone stopped him and asked "what are you doing"? The drink driver replied: "I'm trying to catch the rear plat number!
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Old 06-12-2015, 07:01 PM   #313
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The American feminists be like:

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Old 06-12-2015, 07:30 PM   #314
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The filling in that glass is not really of the same volume of the empty part. The class gets narrower as we go down so the lower part is smaller than the upper one.

Yeah yeah, get outta here Smart Guy
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Old 06-12-2015, 09:34 PM   #315
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Smart Guy....

shut up.
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Old 06-15-2015, 04:16 AM   #316
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Smart_Guy View Post
The filling in that glass is not really of the same volume of the empty part. The class gets narrower as we go down so the lower part is smaller than the upper one.

Yeah yeah, get outta here Smart Guy
The glass is 5/8ths empty
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Old 06-15-2015, 08:54 PM   #317
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A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the
mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, “What's the story?” He replies, “Just crap in the carburetor” She asks, “How often do I have to do that?”

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, “PULL OVER!” “NO!” the blonde yelled back, “IT'S A SCARF!”

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night... It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, “If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?” She thought for a time and then asked, “Is it on or off?”

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, “Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?” “HELLLOOOOOOO......,” answered the blonde. “They're watch dogs”
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Old 06-17-2015, 06:01 AM   #318
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How do you fix a washing machin in one single step?
You slap her.
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Old 06-17-2015, 07:32 PM   #319
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BikerEcho View Post
How do you fix a washing machin in one single step?
You slap her.
Yup... Cynthia is going to kill us.
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Old 06-17-2015, 07:40 PM   #320
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Sometimes they need a kick start.
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