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Old 11-11-2014, 03:09 PM   #21
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Default Re: Jokes N Stuff!

Those are some funny jokes...

Boy: *calls 911* Hello? I need your help!
911: Alright, What is it?
Boy: Two girls are fighting over me!
911: So what's your emergency?
Boy: The ugly one is winning.

---------------------------------------------------

Dad: Say daddy!
Baby: Mommy!
Dad: Come on, say daddy!
Baby: Mommy!
Dad: F*ck you, say daddy!
Baby: F*ck you, Mommy!
Mom: Honey, I'm home!
Baby: F*ck you!
Mom: Who taught you that?
Baby: Daddy!
Dad: Son of a b*tch.

--------------------------------------------------

20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please dont let Kevin Bacon die!
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Old 11-11-2014, 07:35 PM   #22
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Ok, here is another of my all time faves...

Back in the old Wild West, there were two blonde cowpokes, Jeff and Dave. One day, the two were enjoying a strong drink in the local saloon, when a man walked into the bar with an Indian's head under his arm.
The barman shakes his hand and says, "I hate Indians, last week they burnt my barn to the ground, assaulted my wife and killed my children."
He then says, "If any man brings me the head of an Indian, I'll give him one thousand dollars." The two blondes looked at each other and walked out of the bar to go hunting for an Indian. They were walking around for a while when suddenly they saw one; Jeff threw a rock which hit the Indian right on the head. The Indian fell off his horse, but landed seventy feet down a ravine.
The two blondes made their way down the ravine where Dave pulled out a knife to claim their trophy.
Suddenly, Jeff said, "Dave, take a look at this."
Dave replied, "Not now, I'm busy."
Jeff tugged him on the shoulder and says, "I really think you should look at this."
Dave said, "Look, you can see I'm busy. There's a thousand dollars in my hand."
But Jeff was adamant. "Please, Dave, take a look at this."
So Dave looked up and saw that standing at the top of the ravine were five thousand red Indians. Dave just shook his head and said, "Oh my God, we're going to be millionaires!"
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Old 11-11-2014, 10:38 PM   #23
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For anyone who wants a laugh, this was one of my favorite sites for the longest time.
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Old 11-13-2014, 05:16 AM   #24
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I think I might be racist.
I've just realized all my favorite Nazis are white.
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Old 11-13-2014, 05:21 AM   #25
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I should not have giggled at that.
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Old 11-13-2014, 09:35 AM   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Draygoes View Post
For anyone who wants a laugh, this was one of my favorite sites for the longest time.
Quote:
<LordChewy> so my dad found my porn folder
<LordChewy> and he was getting all pissed
<LordChewy> so its all like "does this surprise you? i'm not stupid you know"
<LordChewy> "i know dad"
<LordChewy> "what do you have to say for yourself?"
<LordChewy> at this point i stare at him straight in the eyes and say "Cocuments and SettingsRickyMy Documentsfaxessent faxes"
<LordChewy> and he just shut up
<kingKahn> what is it?
<LordChewy> its his porn folder


I'd tell you a UDP joke, but I'm afraid you might not get it.
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Old 11-13-2014, 03:37 PM   #27
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one of the best Biker Echo
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Old 11-13-2014, 05:10 PM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by root View Post


I'd tell you a UDP joke, but I'm afraid you might not get it.
Yup, I got it
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Old 11-13-2014, 06:37 PM   #29
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Husband: Honey, do u smell that?
Wife: No.
Husband: Yeah, me neither, start cooking.

-----------------------------------------------------

Daughter: Mom, I'm pregnant!
Mom: I thought I told you when a guy touches your boobs, say don't, and when he touches you vagina, say stop.
Daughter: But he kept touching both, so it came out,"don't, stop, don't, stop.

------------------------------------------------------

Broccoli: "I look like a tree."
Walnut: "I look like a brain. "
Orange: "I look like a baseball"
Mushroom: "I freaking hate this game."
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Old 11-13-2014, 07:11 PM   #30
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Haha
Good one Mixx

This thread is great.Thanks for starting it Draygoes
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