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Old 03-04-2015, 09:32 PM   #231
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Good one.
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Old 03-04-2015, 10:28 PM   #232
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A professional woman went to see her doctor complaining that she had terrible gas problems. She told the doctor, "I pass gas constantly, in fact I've let loose 3 times just since I've been talking to you. Thankfully, they are completely silent and have no odor."

The doctor scribbled out a prescription and handed it to her. "But this is for nose drops. How will that help my gas problem?", she asked.

The doctor responded, "We'll work on your sense of smell first, then we'll work on your hearing. Once those 2 are back to normal, then we'll work on your gas problem."
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Old 03-05-2015, 05:45 PM   #233
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Nice one Strollin..

A man and his wife were going for a stroll one night when they spotted what was obviously a blind man taking a walk on the other side of the street with his seeing eye dog. “Wow! Isn’t that something!” remarked the wife, “look at that man taking a stroll just like us.” They continued strolling for a few minutes longer when they heard the man let out a loud yelp. The dog had walked him right into a parked car and he had clearly banged his shin pretty hard. Rushing over to help, they were surprised to see the man reach into his pocket and pull out a treat for the dog. “Isn’t that weird?” whispered the wife, “giving him a treat even when he’s mad.” “Why are you giving him a treat?” questioned the husband. “I AINT GIVING HIM A TREAT!” said the enraged man, “I’M JUST TRYING TO FIND OUT WHERE HIS HEAD IS, SO I CAN GIVE HIM A SHARP KICK IN THE BEHIND!
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Old 03-22-2015, 01:14 PM   #234
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There was once a man in a plane.
Unfortunately, he fell out of the plane.
Fortunately, he was wearing a parachute.
Unfortunately, the parachute failed to open.
Fortunately, there was a haystack below him.
Unfortunately, there was a pitchfork sticking out of the haystack.
Fortunately, he missed the pitchfork.
Unfortunately, he missed the haystack.
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Old 03-23-2015, 06:11 AM   #235
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Draygoes View Post
There was once a man in a plane.
Unfortunately, he fell out of the plane.
Fortunately, he was wearing a parachute.
Unfortunately, the parachute failed to open.
Fortunately, there was a haystack below him.
Unfortunately, there was a pitchfork sticking out of the haystack.
Fortunately, he missed the pitchfork.
Unfortunately, he missed the haystack.
brilliant
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Old 03-23-2015, 09:52 AM   #236
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3 guys were talking.
1st guy - 2 people making love is called a two-some.
2nd guy - 3 people making love is called a three-some.
3rd guy - So that makes me handsome?
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Old 03-23-2015, 12:08 PM   #237
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Quote:
Originally Posted by strollin View Post
3 guys were talking.
1st guy - 2 people making love is called a two-some.
2nd guy - 3 people making love is called a three-some.
3rd guy - So that makes me handsome?
That made my day!
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Old 03-23-2015, 04:45 PM   #238
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Old 03-23-2015, 06:41 PM   #239
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Aaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 03-25-2015, 04:28 PM   #240
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SHE: What does IDK mean?
HE: I don't know
SHE: Well, don't anyone know ??
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