Go Back   Computer Forums > Welcome To Computer Forums .org > Social Lounge | Off Topic
Join Computer forums Today


Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
 
Old 11-08-2014, 05:04 PM   #11
Fully Optimized
 
Draygoes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: United States
Posts: 1,636
Default Re: Jokes N Stuff!

ROFL Nice!!!
__________________

__________________
Working on new projects and expanding our horizons. Come by and see what we're up to now. www.multirotorplatforms.com/forum.php
Draygoes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-08-2014, 09:06 PM   #12
Fully Optimized
 
Draygoes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: United States
Posts: 1,636
Default Re: Jokes N Stuff!

Andy an 80-year-old Scotsman went to the doctor for a check-up..
The doctor was amazed at what good shape he was in and asked: ’How do you stay in such great physical condition?’

’I am Scottish and I am a golfer,’ said Andy: ’and that is why I am in such good shape. I am up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways. I have a wee glass of whisky, and that’s it.’

’Well,’ said the doctor, ’I am sure that helps, but there has to be more to it. How old was your Dad when he died?’

’Who said my Dad died?’

The doctor was amazed.
’You mean you are 84 years old and your Dad is still alive
How old is he?’

He is 105 years old,’ said old Andy. ’In fact he golfed
wi’ me this mornin’, and then we went to the topless beach for a walk
and had a nither wee dram and that is why he is still alive.
He is a Scot and he is a golfer, too.’

’Well,’ the doctor said, ’that is great, but I am sure there is more to it than that. How about your Dad’s Dad? How old was he when he died?’

’Who said my Grandad is dead?’

Stunned, the doctor asked, ’You mean you are 84 years old and your grandfather is still living! Incredible, how old is he?’

’He is 127 years old,’ said the old Scottish golfer

The doctor was getting frustrated at this point:
’So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?’

’No. Grandad couldnae go this mornin’ because he is getting married today’

At this point the doctor was close to losing it. ’Getting married!!
Why would a 127 year-old bloke want to get married?’


’Who said he wanted to?’
__________________

__________________
Working on new projects and expanding our horizons. Come by and see what we're up to now. www.multirotorplatforms.com/forum.php
Draygoes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-09-2014, 10:10 AM   #13
Fully Optimized
 
Draygoes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: United States
Posts: 1,636
Default Re: Jokes N Stuff!

Guy 1: So, waiting on top of mountains in rainstorms wearing a big iron hat while standing over a vat of toxic waste filled with irradiated insects hoping to get superpowers…might NOT be the best idea?

Guy 2: Only if your parents are alive.
__________________
Working on new projects and expanding our horizons. Come by and see what we're up to now. www.multirotorplatforms.com/forum.php
Draygoes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-09-2014, 06:00 PM   #14
Solid State Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 13
Default Re: Jokes N Stuff!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Draygoes View Post
I have seen that, and still love it! ROFL!
---------------------------------------------------------------------
HOW MOSES GOT THE TEN COMMANDMENTS

God went to the Arabs and said,
'I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better.'

The Arabs asked, 'What are Commandments?'
And the Lord said, 'They are rules for living..'
'Can you give us an example?'

'Thou shall not kill.'

'Not kill? We're not interested..'

So He went to the Blacks and said, 'I have Commandments.'

The Blacks wanted an example, and the Lord said,
'Honour thy Father and Mother.'

'Father? We don't know who our fathers are.
We're not interested.'

Then He went to the Mexicans and said,
'I have Commandments.'

The Mexicans also wanted an example, and the Lord said 'Thou shall not steal.'

'Not steal? We're not interested.'

Then He went to the French and said,
'I have Commandments.'

The French too wanted an example and the Lord said, 'Thou shall not commit adultery.'

'Sacre bleu!!! Not commit adultery? We're not interested.'

Finally, He went to the Jews and said,
'I have Commandments..'

'Commandments?' They said, 'How much are they?'

'They're free.'

'We'll take 10.'


There, that should offend just about everybody.
Draygoes: If you know so much about the Commandments, you would know that the guys at the end of your tale took twenty, sold ten on quickly and made a nice profit.
mikcor-fr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-09-2014, 06:11 PM   #15
Fully Optimized
 
Draygoes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: United States
Posts: 1,636
Default Re: Jokes N Stuff!

You make a good point!
__________________
Working on new projects and expanding our horizons. Come by and see what we're up to now. www.multirotorplatforms.com/forum.php
Draygoes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-10-2014, 08:45 PM   #16
Fully Optimized
 
Draygoes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: United States
Posts: 1,636
Default Re: Jokes N Stuff!

How to wash a toilet
This was simply too much of a time saver not to

share it with you.

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of

pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry

him towards the bathroom.


3. In one smooth movement put the cat in the toilet and

close the lid. You may need to stand on the lid.


4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never

mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually

enjoying this.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides

a 'power-wash' and rinse'.

6. Have someone open the front door of your home.

Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom

and the front door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and

quickly lift the lid.

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through

the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.

9. Both the toilet and the cat will be sparkling clean.


Yours Sincerely,

The Dog.
__________________
Working on new projects and expanding our horizons. Come by and see what we're up to now. www.multirotorplatforms.com/forum.php
Draygoes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-11-2014, 04:06 AM   #17
Fully Optimized
 
BikerEcho's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Denmark
Posts: 3,907
Default Re: Jokes N Stuff!

So a priest and a nun were out golfing one day. The priest, however, is a terrible golfer. He lines up his first shot and promptly hits the ball into the rough.
"F*ck, I missed!" he cursed.
"Father," cried the nun, "don't use that kind of language!"
So he goes to the next hole and promptly sends it straight into the lake.
"F*ck, I missed!" the father said again, under his breath.
The nun had heard him,however. "Father, if you use that language again, the Lord will strike you down!" she warned.
The priest lines up his shot again. Despite his best efforts, the ball falls into a sandtrap. Before he can react, however, a lightning bolt shoots down from the sky and kills the nun instantly. From very far off in the distance, a booming voice is heard saying "F*ck, I missed!"
__________________
MOBO: Asus Maximus 6 Hero - GPU: Gigabyte GTX 980ti xtreme - CPU: I7-4770K - PSU: Corsair AX760
RAM: Corsair Vantage 2x4GB - SSD: Samsung 840 Evo 512GB - Case: NZXT H440
BikerEcho is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-11-2014, 05:00 AM   #18
Fully Optimized
 
Draygoes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: United States
Posts: 1,636
Default Re: Jokes N Stuff!

That made my night! Thanks!
__________________
Working on new projects and expanding our horizons. Come by and see what we're up to now. www.multirotorplatforms.com/forum.php
Draygoes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-11-2014, 05:09 AM   #19
Fully Optimized
 
BikerEcho's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Denmark
Posts: 3,907
Default Re: Jokes N Stuff!

Hahaha. Just read the "how to wash a toilet" joke. Good one.
__________________
MOBO: Asus Maximus 6 Hero - GPU: Gigabyte GTX 980ti xtreme - CPU: I7-4770K - PSU: Corsair AX760
RAM: Corsair Vantage 2x4GB - SSD: Samsung 840 Evo 512GB - Case: NZXT H440
BikerEcho is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-11-2014, 05:31 AM   #20
Fully Optimized
 
Draygoes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: United States
Posts: 1,636
Default Re: Jokes N Stuff!

I dont have a favorite joke, but that one is definatly one of them.
__________________

__________________
Working on new projects and expanding our horizons. Come by and see what we're up to now. www.multirotorplatforms.com/forum.php
Draygoes is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:26 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 4
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0