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Old 01-27-2015, 04:30 AM   #131
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Default Re: Jokes N Stuff!

brilliant
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Old 01-27-2015, 10:49 AM   #132
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Good one.
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Old 01-27-2015, 11:01 AM   #133
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Thanks.
It is one of my favorite jokes.
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Old 01-27-2015, 11:09 AM   #134
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A boat was docked in a tiny Mexican fishing village.
A tourist complimented the local fishermen on the quality of their fish and... asked how long it took to catch them.
"Not very long" they answered in unison.
"Why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?"
The fishermen explained that their small catches were sufficient to meet their needs and those of their families.
"But what do you do with the rest of your time?"
"We sleep late, fish a little, play with our children, and take siestas with our wives. In the evenings, we go into the village to see our friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs.
We have a full life."
The tourist interrupted, "I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you! You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat."
"And after that?"
"With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers.
Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City, Los Angeles, or even New York City!!! From there you can direct your huge new enterprise."
"How long would that take?"
"Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years." replied the tourist.
"And after that?"
"Afterwards? Well my friend, that's when it gets really interesting," answered the tourist, laughing. "When your business gets really big, you can start buying and selling stocks and make millions!"
"Millions? Really? And after that?" asked the fishermen.
"After that you'll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your friends."
"With all due respect sir, but that's exactly what we are doing now. So what's the point wasting twenty-five years?" asked the Mexicans.
And the moral of this story is:
Know where you're going in life, you may already be there! Many times in life, money is not everything.
“Live your life before life becomes lifeless”
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Old 01-27-2015, 12:48 PM   #135
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And no stress, ulcers and high blood pressure too.
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Old 01-27-2015, 08:26 PM   #136
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This might be old news, but its still funny, and even though its true I still see it as a freaking joke, so I am placing it here: China Bans Reincarnation Without Permission | UberFacts
Even though it is old news, my thinking is that there may still be people on this forum who have not heard of that.



So, how would you enforce such a law? I wasnt aware that we have perfected incarnation detection tech yet.
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Old 01-27-2015, 10:10 PM   #137
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If you Google odd/weird laws you'll go WTF? Really silly stuff.
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Old 01-28-2015, 01:29 AM   #138
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I have done that search before actually. Its fun to read how creative a state or country can get when it comes to being crazy. It takes a special kind LOL
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Old 01-30-2015, 09:39 AM   #139
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I hope that I have never posted this before, but no matter what please enjoy!

Lawyers should never ask a Georgia grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'

She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,

'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.
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Old 01-30-2015, 10:50 AM   #140
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Celery View Post
If you Google odd/weird laws you'll go WTF? Really silly stuff.
At some point in the UK, it was made illegal to eat mince pies... so any time we have one, we're breaking the law!

Plus, I believe there's still a law saying that if you're a trader in London, you can take a flock off sheep across London Bridge without paying a toll...
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