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Old 08-07-2010, 08:30 PM   #1
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Default I need your guys help...

This girl i used to hang out with a lot has had a lot of problems in her life.. Always picking the wrong boyfriend who ends up mistreating her, plus her parents abuse her. She has just gotten a new boyfriend and from what she has told me, he is emotional unstable. He is a recovering heroin addict, cuts himself and does a lot of drugs. An overall control freak too. I just noticed she unadde d me on facebook, which is VERY unusual as we talk everyday. I thought it was her mistake, so i went to re-add her. She denied my request and i was a little suspicious. I look at her friends list (which dramatically decreased) and notice there were no boys at all. I think that SOB is controlling her again, and quite frankly, i have no idea what to do.
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Old 08-07-2010, 09:17 PM   #2
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Default Re: I need your guys help...

Well there are a couple things you can do. This sort of behavior is typical of someone that wants to control someones life and can SOMETIMES be a sign of an abusive relationship. The best steps you can take is try to get a hold of her in person. If that fails the authorities are always an option. It may seem a little extreme but sometimes stuff like that needs to happen.

Another problem you could run in to is her defending him IF he is being abusive. And when I use the term abusive I'm not solely talking about physical, emotional can be just as bad.

You also have to be careful cause if you try to help her by "Telling" her whats right and wrong she might push back. So my advice is if you are able to talk to her to take it nice and easy and coax information out of her and don't be in your face.

I wish you the best of luck in helping your friend.
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Old 08-07-2010, 09:51 PM   #3
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Default Re: I need your guys help...

Ok, if he doesnt want her being FB friends with any guys, and she actually listened, she needs to GTFO ASAP. End of story. This is NOT the guy to hang around with. Nor the kind to mess with from an outsider stand point as there is no telling what he can or would do.
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Old 08-07-2010, 09:59 PM   #4
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Default Re: I need your guys help...

Yeah you really don't want to have any of these talks were he could show up cause if he is unstable the last thing you want it him being on the wrong side of stable when you are around.
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Old 08-07-2010, 10:18 PM   #5
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Default Re: I need your guys help...

Sounds like you need to get her away from him. He needs professional help, not a girlfriend.

If her parents abuse her, has she considered talking to authorities?
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Old 08-07-2010, 10:28 PM   #6
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Default Re: I need your guys help...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cabbs View Post
He needs professional help, not a girlfriend.

If her parents abuse her, has she considered talking to authorities?
Even if your friendship is in jeopardy, you will need to report the issue as soon as possible.
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Old 08-08-2010, 07:16 AM   #7
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Default Re: I need your guys help...

Youch. Have you got her phone number or any other means of contacting her? You could still send her a message on facebook even though she's not your friend on there anymore.

As said above though it really seems like professional help is the best way forward with this one - making someone ditch half their friends is just downright wrong and I'd hazard a guess that's probably just scratching the surface, especially given the guy's situation.
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Old 08-08-2010, 11:37 AM   #8
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Default Re: I need your guys help...

Tough situation....Dealing with a jealous or controlling boyfriend can be difficult, Let alone one that is an heroin addict, and Lord forbid, One that is going through Withdrawal. Years ago I had a girlfriend that I was great friends with for nearly 10 years, however she found the biggest douche bag in America to date and he was similar to this douche bag your referencing.. She did the same on FB, and soon after slowly stopped talking and hanging out with me....It wasn't long before the guy found out I was LE and disappeared all together.. As difficult as it may seem though, IF, IF you KNOW he or her parents are abusing her, YOU need to do something about it and report it, As opposed to trying to get the victim to come forward. I see it all too often in this day in age, Husbands or boyfriends just don't argue with their women, Now they just murder them. Turn on the TV, Domestic violence turns deadly. Don't be late, For all you know next week he could run out of his drug and go through EXTREME withdrawal, which can and DOES lead to extreme anger...Question is, Who does he take that out on? Your best friend? Depending on her age, You could make an anonymous call to CPS or Local Law Enforcement on his drug use.
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Old 08-08-2010, 12:39 PM   #9
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Default Re: I need your guys help...

Yea, he just got out of CAPU (Child Adolescent Pediatrician Unit(similar to what i went to) for attempting to hang himself in front of her.. She screamed someone called the cops.. It sucks because i moved away at the end of the year and I'm about 45 minutes away. She happens to be Albanian and her father treats her, along with her other sister and mother, like sh*t. I'm starting to get paranoid, i'm going to talk to her friends and see what is up, hopefully they will be able to give me some information, without me being to nosy.
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