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Old 05-06-2012, 03:11 PM   #1
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Default Having a baby

Hi. My girlfriend and I are thinking of having a baby but I can't stop thinking 'come one, look at that mess over there, how can you put a baby in a world like that it's selfish man'

so I guess I'm trying to ask you guyz do you think it's ok to have a baby in 2012 ? My girlfriend and I both have a job so the baby should have a security (a roof over his head and food on the table)

thnaks
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Old 05-06-2012, 04:19 PM   #2
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Default Re: Having a baby

Why not? There always has and always will be problems in the world. I don't see it as a reason to not have a child.

Since both of you have a job your kid would be better off than many too...
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Old 05-06-2012, 06:08 PM   #3
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Default Re: Having a baby

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Originally Posted by lazoo View Post
Hi. My girlfriend and I are thinking of having a baby but I can't stop thinking 'come one, look at that mess over there, how can you put a baby in a world like that it's selfish man'

so I guess I'm trying to ask you guyz do you think it's ok to have a baby in 2012 ? My girlfriend and I both have a job so the baby should have a security (a roof over his head and food on the table)

thnaks
Lazoo I just had a baby this January and right now is a good time as any to have a baby. If both of you have jobs then that is great!! Go for it and "you can do it all night long"...lol
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Old 05-07-2012, 12:59 AM   #4
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Default Re: Having a baby

Thank you guyz for encouraging me !
you know I think I agree with you there's always been problems in this world but the Internet wasn't always there to preclude communication in a family. The thing that worries me is the fact teenagers can turn to each other to try to solve them problems without talking to their parents. I mean, teenagers have online communities now.
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Old 05-07-2012, 08:49 AM   #5
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Default Re: Having a baby

As a new parent (2 year old) there is some guidance I'd like to offer you.

First, I have to ask how old you are and if you and your girlfriend are going to get married. I'm not old enough to be naive about having to be married to have a baby but I think it's important for parents to be committed to a life-long relationship with each other.

Second, please take into consideration that while the joys of being a parent are overwhelming -- there are also the lows that can also be overwhelming. Just last night I got up at 12:00AM, 1:00AM and 2:30AM with a toddler who was having trouble sleeping. Fortunately I'm able to function with a little sleep but it's something to think about. The early years can add a great deal of stress into a relationship and if the relationship isn't strong enough it can crack and break and fall apart.

Third, you have to think about your lifestyle. How often do you go out? How often do you travel? Do any of your friends have kids? Will they understand or will they stop hanging out with you? My wife and I are young and we were the first couple in our group of friends to have kids. Most of our friends understand but we don't get to hang out with them near as much as we used to and after us telling them "we can't go out tonight" a few too many times, they've pretty much stopped calling to ask. Now if we want to hang out, we have to initiate the phone call to them.

Fourth, as with everything in this world, it seems to always come down to money. I know you said both of you work, but have you checked into diaper prices? Have you checked formula and baby food prices? Have you thought about breast-feeding and/or making your own baby food? Have you considered hospital costs and insurance coverage? What about time off of work? God-forbid, but what if there are complications and your girlfriend needs to go on bedrest? What if morning sickness is so overwhelming she can't make it into work?

Lastly, you have to be ready to put the baby ahead of all of your needs. You have to be willing to sacrifice everything in order for the baby to thrive. Less sleep, lost social time, less money for "extras", heck even eating cold meals for the next 5 or 6 years. I would encourage you to talk to other parents. Ask for "the real story". Make sure you are in a situation in your lives together that you feel like you will be able to support the baby: physical, emotionally and properly.


I guess to actually answer the question you asked though, there will always be something in this world that is scary or some reason to not bring kids in. Be it a World War/the Great Depression/another World War/or the scary world of the Internet we live in now. But being a parent means protecting and educating your child and making sure they are equipped with the proper knowledge to live in this world.
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Old 05-09-2012, 09:48 PM   #6
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Default Re: Having a baby

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Originally Posted by lazoo View Post
Thank you guyz for encouraging me !
you know I think I agree with you there's always been problems in this world but the Internet wasn't always there to preclude communication in a family. The thing that worries me is the fact teenagers can turn to each other to try to solve them problems without talking to their parents. I mean, teenagers have online communities now.
What happens online can't replace what happens face to face and you better read Jmacavali post, best comment that far on that matter
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Old 05-10-2012, 02:28 AM   #7
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Default Re: Having a baby

jmacavali was spot on. I'll echo his post to some degree so you understand the importance of the decision...

Understand, your entire life is going to change with a child. My 'good ol days' of spending hours on end on Xbox live or Battle.net are gone. I can't go out drinking with the friends, or take the wife to a movie whenever I would like. My days now are spent watching/feeding/changing/entertaining/helping my children.

Now, there is no greater happiness than raising a child. I get more joy from interacting with or observing my children than I ever did from anything I ever have. So just because I can't spend my nights drinking my reality away, doesn't mean that I regret bringing children into this life.

Those are the two realities. The reality of raising a child in a world this crappy? You worry about everything, all the time. Is the teacher going to be watching him after I drop him off? Is he going to not watch for cars while he's playing with friends outside?
Raising children is the greatest challenge you will ever undertake.

If you're ready to give up everything about your life now, and take on a new life, then have children. Raise them to the best of your ability and teach them everything you can. Accept them for who they are and encourage who they wish to become.
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Old 05-10-2012, 09:11 AM   #8
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Default Re: Having a baby

Advice from a Grandfather.

If you are ready to have a baby you would know and not be asking here.

If in doubt, forget it.
If you are willing to take on responsibility, go for it.


Best of luck
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Old 05-10-2012, 09:45 AM   #9
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Default Re: Having a baby

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If you are ready to have a baby you would know and not be asking here.
I would have to disagree on this point. By asking he's showing a knowledge of how much responsibility and maturity it will take to raise a kid. I believe that by asking it's proving he doesn't think it will just be a walk in the park with little work involved and wants the best for his future child.
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Old 05-10-2012, 09:47 AM   #10
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Default Re: Having a baby

Quote:
Originally Posted by lazoo View Post
Hi. My girlfriend and I are thinking of having a baby but I can't stop thinking 'come one, look at that mess over there, how can you put a baby in a world like that it's selfish man'

so I guess I'm trying to ask you guyz do you think it's ok to have a baby in 2012 ? My girlfriend and I both have a job so the baby should have a security (a roof over his head and food on the table)

thnaks
You'll be ok. Wishing u and ur girlfriend the best!!
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