luckyduck1
Fully Optimized
- Messages
- 2,411
I got this in an email from my friend. Most of these I've heard already though...
*Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze
these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
*Who was the first one who thought that the white thing that came from a
hen's butt looked edible?
*Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible
crisp which no decent human being would eat?
*Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
*If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
*Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
*If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why
can't he fix a hole in a boat?
*Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't
point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
*Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are
going to look up there anyway?
*Why does goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both
dogs!
*What do you call male ballerinas?
*Why ARE Trix only for kids?
*If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme stuff, why didn't
he just buy dinner?
*Why is a person that handles your money called a Broker?
*If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
*If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,
then what is baby oil made from?
*If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him, is he
still wrong?
*If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
*Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
*Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same
tune?
*Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
*Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you,
but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the
window?
*Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars
in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint
somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?
*What really happened to Michael Jackson?
^^^I added this one
*Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze
these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
*Who was the first one who thought that the white thing that came from a
hen's butt looked edible?
*Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible
crisp which no decent human being would eat?
*Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
*If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
*Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
*If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why
can't he fix a hole in a boat?
*Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't
point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
*Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are
going to look up there anyway?
*Why does goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both
dogs!
*What do you call male ballerinas?
*Why ARE Trix only for kids?
*If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme stuff, why didn't
he just buy dinner?
*Why is a person that handles your money called a Broker?
*If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
*If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,
then what is baby oil made from?
*If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him, is he
still wrong?
*If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
*Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
*Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same
tune?
*Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
*Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you,
but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the
window?
*Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars
in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint
somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?
*What really happened to Michael Jackson?
^^^I added this one
