~NeonFire372~
Golden Master
- Messages
- 7,536
Having a bad day? http://www.fmylife.com/
Today, I was putting a password in my computer while my girlfriend watched. I typed in 'mypenis' for the password and a screen popped up and said 'too short', my girlfriend looked at me and said 'I agree". FML
Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I know him. I've slept with him. FML
Today, I decided to send my boyfriend a pic text of me naked. I accidently sent it to my dad and got a text back saying "You definitely take after your mom". FML
Today, My roommate texted me and warned me to be careful on the stairs leading to our place because they were icy. I got the message. After I fell down an entire flight of stone stairs. FML
Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML
Today, I noticed a prospective employer I had been networking with changed her last name on her e-mail signature. I wished the aquaintence congratulations on her new marriage. Her divorce was finalized this week. FML
Today, I really had to use the airplane lavatory and afterwards the flight attendants continuously sprayed air freshener for ten minutes. FML
Today, my wife told me that if she had a penny for every time I had brought her to climax she'd have change for a nickel. We've been married for 16 years. FML
Today, I carefully approached my boyfriend from behind and put my hands on his eyes saying: “Who's there?†he answered: “Mary? Camilla? Kate? ». Annoyed, I said « You lose; it's your beloved one… ». After a while, he said « Oh! Amanda! ». My name is Chloe. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me in a very natural way that my mother is better at sex than me. FML
Today, I'm a French girl in England, and a cute boy asked me where I live exactly. When I told him Paris, he answered 'oh strange, I always thought parisians were the most beautiful women in the world'... FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he was gay and that he is in love with my younger brother. FML
Today, I was in a nightclub with my girlfriend, while a beautiful girl was looking at me in the most provocative way. I didn't want my girl to be upset, so I escaped to the bar. Later, I saw this girl kissing my girlfriend... Maybe I wasn't the one that she was looking at. FML