Join Date: Mar 2007
A few things.
A year and a half ago when I joined CF, I was not well versed in computers at all. I believe my first post was me asking whether it is possible to upgrade a GPU on an old Dell laptop. I was quickly told that it is 1, impossible and 2, a complete waste of money. I took the answer and left the forum for a month or so. But, I felt something pull me back there. I don't really know what it was, but there was a certain attraction that I felt towards the forum. I came back and made a few posts, one of them introducing myself. I frequented the General Hardware and Software forum and read the threads. Soon, I felt able to answer a few questions. As time wore on, I answered more and more and started getting a few reps now and again. I was happy with myself, and after a few months of this, decided to build my own rig.
With the help of CF members, and a little bit of reading, I soon had not one but two high powered gaming rigs. The more I dabbled in computers, the more I learned about them. With time, my post- count increased, and I started talking to CF members both in the Social Lounge and on AIM. I still remember the first PM I sent. It was apologizing to Celegorm for calling him (in jest) a noob. Celegorm and I became friends in a matter of days, and since then have only become closer. About three-quarters of a year after joining, I was made CF privileged. That was also when the CF Podcast was just starting up (I would still love to bring it back). I was overjoyed. The community that has become a second home for me decided to give me one of the highest honors. A mere few months after, I got a PM from David. It asked me whether I wanted to be a mod. Yet again, the joy was immense. I immediately told all the people that I considered to be friends, muz among them. Everyone seemed very happy for me- and that is what I love about CF, people truly care about one another.
I soon learned the ropes of moderating CF and was getting to know my fellow mods I approved of everyone's style, with the possible exception of Maurice, and became friends with all of them (or so I thought). After that, life on CF was a blur. Weeks came and went, and so unfortunately did some members. I had a few rough patches during that time, what with the drama that was going on with Maurice and others. However, I feel that I along with CF handled that drama.. I am more proud to be among the ranks of Celegorm, DJ Chris, Mark_Thorpe, Mr. Mixx and all the others. I cannot say how much I admire and respect my co-moderators. Also D-lew has been a great friend on CF and AIM.
Now, I am going to be absolutely frank with you guys. I have a life outside of CF, and that life isn't that easy. I do not feel like I can talk about the things that happened to me outside of CF in the past few weeks with ease right now- maybe later I will divulge, but please do understand that I was under a lot of emotional pressure. I would like to offer a bit of background on another one of our members. When Dudemcbob55 joined our forums, he acted like a great member. He helped out, and talked to us in the Social Lounge. He was pretty well liked. However, as his post- count went up, something different overcame him. As his post- count got closer and closer to 1000, he started posting useless posts more and more. Then it became outright spam. The moderating team decided that it would be a good idea to ban him for a while since spamming is, in fact, against the rules. He however decided to make a second account. Multi-accounts is also against the rules and Bob knew it well. He got a permaban. Bob was one of the members I knew pretty well outside of CF, for we talked on AIM a fair bit. He asked me to talk to David about giving him a second chance. I talked to David, and David agreed to unban Bob after a month.
Bob came back to the forums, rechristened as Dark Night. It was all well and good, and he certainly showed a lot of improvement in his posting. I was very happy that he came back and was once again, a constructive member of the society.
A week ago, Dark Night decided to complain about the closure of one of his threads. That is perfectly acceptable, and I am sure all of us mods are more than happy to explain why something happened. However, once I explained it to him- he still kept on questioning (only now I do I realize what actually happened with that thread- but this is after David himself explained it). I responded, perhaps too harshly, but Bob kept on insisting that I repent and calling me all sorts of names. I now realize that I should not have gotten quite so exasperated at him, but the fact of the matter remains that I did. I made a thread about quitting CF and went out into the countryside to think on matters.
I guess you can say that I am sort of going through a CF- middle age crisis. I realized that what I did was stupid, pointless. It is not what I truly feel, for I still love the community and like all of the members here. All of us have shortcomings, but those shortcomings are what makes CF... well, CF.
I have partly gotten over the matters that were ailing me so and would like to say that this CF is a community that I cannot leave, not on my own bidding anyways. I admit that I acted foolishly, especially for a moderator, but pray that you guys will accept me back.
P.S. UK31337, you were as always, right.