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Old 10-27-2008, 07:27 PM   #1
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Default Do you ever feel like....

you think that someone cares about you only to be proven wrong time after time again?

Here's the scenario: back in 2005 I lived in a suburb of Denver, CO. I had a girlfriend and things were going well. We had a family crisis involving my grandparents' health, so in the summer of 2006 I moved to Florida. It was hard to leave her but it was necessary as she was unable to move with me and I was unable to stay. So we ended up splitting up but staying in contact. Right after I moved, we were contacting each other and things got ugly. But we mended our situation and have since become close friends.

So since things were going well, she missed me terribly, so we were discussing plans for her to move out to Florida with me. So, discussions were in progress, we made this elaborate plan on moving her down here, but it would have to wait until 2009 for family reasons. Now I was ok with this, gives me something to look forward to. But ever since I have been gone, she always has juggled boyfriends like bouncy balls. She said herself, she couldn't stand to be alone. Just the past few months, though, she had stayed single and things were better than ever. But just today, she got back with an ex-boyfriend and I found that to be the last straw. I am seriously considering breaking off communication with her and her plans to move are on hold, if not indefinitely cancelled.

I guess besides venting, my question is that am I really being unreasonable with the fact that I do not like the idea of her seeing other guys when she says she loves me with all her heart and plans to move out here? I almost consider it a form of cheating. If you were in this scenario, what would you do?

/rant
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Old 10-27-2008, 07:43 PM   #2
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Default Re: Do you ever feel like....

i never been in a boyfriend/girlfriend situation before.
But if it was me, i would probably talk it out with her, and tell her how i feel. But my choice would be leaning towards as staying as just friends if thats possible. Reason is because you might need to move somewhere for a month or so for some reason, then she might do something like this while you are gone.

Im not really a fan of Denver/Aurora girls, they kind of annoy me, though some are cool in a way. Im waiting till i go back to china to find a girl.
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Old 10-27-2008, 08:24 PM   #3
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Default Re: Do you ever feel like....

I had a girlfriend who would always be messing around with other boys. I know that she probably didn't mean anything by it, just messing around. But I couldn't stand it.

If I were you, even though it sounds like you were close. I'd end it.
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Old 10-27-2008, 08:25 PM   #4
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Default Re: Do you ever feel like....

Quote:
Originally Posted by worshipme View Post
I'd end it.
hell yeah
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Old 10-27-2008, 08:32 PM   #5
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Default Re: Do you ever feel like....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Teny View Post
i never been in a boyfriend/girlfriend situation before.
But if it was me, i would probably talk it out with her, and tell her how i feel. But my choice would be leaning towards as staying as just friends if thats possible. Reason is because you might need to move somewhere for a month or so for some reason, then she might do something like this while you are gone.
Well most likely we will remain friends, but if she does this from 2000 miles away, how the hell do I know she won't do the same thing when she is with me locally?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Teny View Post
Im not really a fan of Denver/Aurora girls, they kind of annoy me, though some are cool in a way. Im waiting till i go back to china to find a girl.
Well when you live in Colorado and grew up there, there isn't much of a choice.

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If I were you, even though it sounds like you were close. I'd end it.
Well our plans are most likely ended, but I will probably still maintain contact with her.
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Old 10-27-2008, 08:32 PM   #6
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Default Re: Do you ever feel like....

If you and her were serious about this relationship, idk why you would put up with her having partners while you are away. Seems like she is having a good time and you are stuck with the shit end of the stick, of course, until she moves out to Florida with you. But, if you have such a loose relationship with her like you do now, what makes you think she would be faithful when shes with you there in Florida. Think about it and figure things out BEFORE you even ship her to Florida. You don't need that kind disappointment if things go wrong.
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Old 10-27-2008, 08:38 PM   #7
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Default Re: Do you ever feel like....

hmmm

say bb to her
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Old 10-27-2008, 08:41 PM   #8
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Default Re: Do you ever feel like....

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Well when you live in Colorado and grew up there, there isn't much of a choice.
i dont know.... i have been living in CO for 12 years so far, and my family wants me to stay another 4 years for college.
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Old 10-27-2008, 08:41 PM   #9
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Default Re: Do you ever feel like....

I vote you talk it out, over the phone. E-mail, IM, etc; that stuff, doesn't work. You can tell emotions or anything. Because you can't meet eye to eye, which would be best, I say you call her, and explain to her how you feel. If she truly loves you she will comply with your wishes, just as you should comply to hers if you love her. In order for a relationship to work, imo, both sides need to cede a little bit.
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Old 10-27-2008, 08:42 PM   #10
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Default Re: Do you ever feel like....

i think its pretty much commonplace if you are in a relationship that you stay loyal and if you don't wanna be with someone anymore you just straight up tell them don't string it out and have other relationships , i know if i ever felt like i wanted to be with someone else the first person i would tell is my gf i absoloutley hate people who cheat its IMO the worst thing you can do to another person cheat on them

and i think another thing to bear in mind is long term relationships require a lot of trust , i mean relationships in general require trust but its especially important in a long term relationship when your not there with the person you love so they could be up to whatever and if you think that someone is doing the dirty on you then you obviously dont trust her , i dont think you are being unreasonable with her at all , how can she love you with all her heart if shes still going out with her ex its not possible

if i get my uni choice next year im going to have to have a lot of trust in my gf because we are not going to the same uni , we have been going out for more than a year now and things are pretty serious between us i mean sure we have our gd times and bad times but next year we will be away from each other if we both get our uni choices and so im going to have to trust her and she will have to trust me i just hope we can work things out and whilst i knoew the situations are kinda different i know if i found out she had been seeing someone else i wouldnt be able to be her bf anymore
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