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Old 05-28-2008, 06:45 PM   #1
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Red face Deadbeat Dads?

Ok, this has bugger all to do with technology and I rarely post here but there's plenty of men here and I need some advice from men...

My ex boyfriend is the worst kind of dead beat dad to my 5-month-old daughter. I am resisting the motherly urge to post pictures.

He treats me terribly - ranging from physical and emotional abuse to even just denying her - and I am trying to decide whether to just walk away.

Did you grow up without a dad? Is it better to grow up without a father than with one who terrorises your mother?

Seeking fresh opinions. Gimme your advice.
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Old 05-28-2008, 06:50 PM   #2
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Default Re: Deadbeat Dads?

is the physical abuse really bad?

also, think about if you could financially support a kid without a father?
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Old 05-28-2008, 06:51 PM   #3
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Default Re: Deadbeat Dads?

never stay with a guy who hurts you
because if he can hurt you whos to say he wont hurt your kid
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Old 05-28-2008, 06:56 PM   #4
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Default Re: Deadbeat Dads?

Call the cops... That is the best advice anyone can give you.
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Old 05-28-2008, 07:00 PM   #5
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Default Re: Deadbeat Dads?

Quote:
Originally Posted by borat_sagdiyev View Post
is the physical abuse really bad?

also, think about if you could financially support a kid without a father?
none of them should matter thats just plain stupuid staying in a relationship with someone who violently abuses you because you couldnt financialy support yourself o
any physical abuse is too much /bad
and there are agencies out there who can support you fininancially dunno where you are but im sure there are people to help financially

anyway its up to you , on one hand you could leave your daughter to grow up witbout a father but then on another hand do you want her to grow up seeing her dad beating her mum all the time , cos she will then think that is the norm and let men walk all over her in the future cos she dosent know any different

also if you walk out on him maybe he will see the wrong in his ways but depending on how much his daugther means to him he may still be able to see her
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Old 05-28-2008, 07:05 PM   #6
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Default Re: Deadbeat Dads?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fluff View Post
Ok, this has bugger all to do with technology and I rarely post here but there's plenty of men here and I need some advice from men...

My ex boyfriend is the worst kind of dead beat dad to my 5-month-old daughter. I am resisting the motherly urge to post pictures.

He treats me terribly - ranging from physical and emotional abuse to even just denying her - and I am trying to decide whether to just walk away.

Did you grow up without a dad? Is it better to grow up without a father than with one who terrorises your mother?

Seeking fresh opinions. Gimme your advice.
I did indeed grow up without a father, my parents split when I was 4 years old.

My father was a drunk who used to beat my Mum.

My earliest childhood memory is hiding in my toy cupboard when he would come home drunk and beat up my Mum.

My advice, kick him to the curb, he sounds like a no good, you'll be better off in the long run, abuse of any kind during a childs formative years can have life long effects.

Walk away, walk fast and don't look back, you do not need to endure this.

As the others have said, if he is beating you, call the cops.

Good luck with a shit situation, you have my sympathy
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Old 05-28-2008, 07:12 PM   #7
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Default Re: Deadbeat Dads?

I agree, get away from him. If he truly loves you and your daughter, there is no reason he should be treating both of you this way.
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Old 05-28-2008, 07:27 PM   #8
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Default Re: Deadbeat Dads?

I need to stress that this is my ex-boyfriend. We are not together. We see a lot of each other because of the baby.

I do support my daughter - I work, have my own place, etc. He does pay maintenance for her though.

I begrudge shutting him out, but I don't really want to be hurt by him anymore.
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Old 05-28-2008, 07:32 PM   #9
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Default Re: Deadbeat Dads?

If he can not see the error of his ways and change his attitude then you need to get the courts to approve parental visits for him.

I know you feel you are denying your daughter her father and probably may still have feelings of some sort for your ex from the "good times gone by" but honestly, he has no right to inflict this on you two and you do not have to endure it.
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Old 05-28-2008, 08:03 PM   #10
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Default Re: Deadbeat Dads?

whats better:
putting up with this s**t day in day out affecting both you and your child im sure.
or:
living a life that may be tough, but is enjoyable with a lot less worry.
i know what id choose. sometimes we need to go through hard times to live happily ever after
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