I love the bit in austin powers where they start speaking cockney to have a private conversation.
the point of the phrases is that they arn't meant to be understood. cockney is a slang language where word rhyme, it was invented so that criminals would talk in public about ilegal things without authorities having a clue what they were on about.
whilst I'm no kind of authority on it, I'll list a few colloquial phrases and the translations. (some of them you probably have in america too, cause I'm not going to stict to cockney phrases...
give us a monkey - can I have five quid? (quid - pound)
lend us a score - can I borrow twenty pounds?
Apples and pears - stairs
meat pies - eyes
I can't adam and eve it - I can't believe it.
you're having a tin bath/giraffe/birdbath - you're having a laugh
I don't give an aylsbury duck - I don't give a (it's rhyming slang figure the rest out yourself!)*
Tonight I'm going to the dolly mixtures - tonight I'm giong to the pictures (cinema).*
Trouble and strife - wife
Having a barclays / (having a barclays bank) - haveing a (again rhyming slang, figure it out)
I'm just off to the bath tub - I'm going to the pub*
I'll cut your billy goat, - I'll cut your throat*
mind you'r own bees wax - mind your own business
big ben - ten
bottle stopper - copper - policeman
it's all bubble and sqeak to me - it's all greek to me - I don't understand it
wooden plank - yank - american
Vera lynn and tonic - gin and tonic*
tea leaf - theif
thrupenny bits - tits
Barney rouble - Trouble
Poms - australians
He's a crim - he's a criminal
I'm going for a ten once rump - I'm going for a dump [B]* don't understand it, ten once rump??
tin tank - bank
tit for tat - hat
thomas tank - masturbate*
not this version!
Talk and mutter - butter
rabbit and pork - talk
rabbit - talk incessantly
rubarb crumble - grumble
going on the rock and roll - going on the dole*
going for a ruby - giong for a curry - (ruby murray)
can't think of any more right now...
I'm sure if you google it you'll find loads of places offering definitions.