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Old 01-10-2007, 04:42 PM   #1
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Default Being a bloke is top because. . . .

Being a bloke

Being a bloke is top because:

* Your a*se is never a factor in a job interview.
* Your orgasms are real. Always.
* Your last name stays put.
* The garage is all yours.
* Wedding plans take care of themselves.
* You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
* Car mechanics tell you the truth.
* You don't give a rat's a*se if someone notices your new haircut.
* Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
* Wrinkles add character.
* A few well placed one night stands gain credibility, not leave you tarnished.
* You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
* People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
* The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
* New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
* Porn movies are designed with you in mind.
* Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with "So, notice anything different?"
* You can appreciate great sport.
* You can throw a ball more than 5 feet.
* One mood, ALL the damn time.
* A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase.
* You can open all your own jars.
* Dry cleaners and hairdressers don't rob you blind.
* You can go to a public toilet without a support group.
* You can leave a hotel bed unmade.
* You can kill your own food.
* You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
* If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
* If you are 30 and single, nobody notices.
* Everything on your face stays its original colour.
* You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
* Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
* You don't have to clean your flat if the electricity meter reader is coming.
* You can sit in silence watching a football game with your mate for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me."
* You don't mooch off other's desserts.
* You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
* If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
* You are not expected to know the names of more than five colours.
* You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
* You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
* The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
* You don't have to shave below your neck.
* Your belly usually hides your big hips.
* One wallet and one pair of shoes, one colour, all seasons.
* You can "do" your nails with a pocket-knife.
* You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
* Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th,in 45 minutes.
* Same job .... . more pay.
* The world is your urinal
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Old 01-10-2007, 04:44 PM   #2
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Default Re: Being a bloke is top because. . . .

LOL! I haven't heard the word "bloke" before though. I'm guessing it means like a Earth Person or something.
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Old 01-10-2007, 04:48 PM   #3
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Default Re: Being a bloke is top because. . . .

Bloke means man
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Old 01-10-2007, 04:50 PM   #4
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Default Re: Being a bloke is top because. . . .

Quote:
Originally Posted by ^Mike^
LOL! I haven't heard the word "bloke" before though. I'm guessing it means like a Earth Person or something.
Another word for 'guy' or man
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Old 01-10-2007, 04:52 PM   #5
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Default Re: Being a bloke is top because. . . .

Quote:
Originally Posted by David Lindon
Another word for 'guy' or man
oh ok, i learn something new every day
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Old 01-10-2007, 04:57 PM   #6
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Default Re: Being a bloke is top because. . . .

lol, I really liked
* You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
* The world is your urinal (btw this is exremely usefull when drunk )

But many of those are so true!
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Old 01-10-2007, 04:58 PM   #7
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Default Re: Being a bloke is top because. . . .

Haha nice.
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Old 01-10-2007, 05:05 PM   #8
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Default Re: Being a bloke is top because. . . .

Those are good!
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Old 01-10-2007, 05:23 PM   #9
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Default Re: Being a bloke is top because. . . .

Haha they're good! So true!
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Old 01-10-2007, 05:47 PM   #10
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Default Re: Being a bloke is top because. . . .

Quote:
Originally Posted by joxley1990
Haha they're good! So true!
True my ass, most people have violated those rules, and if anyone realyl wants I can name situations when i violated them all (or most)

* Your a*se is never a factor in a job interview.
-Guess you havn't been interviewed to be a adult model
* Your orgasms are real. Always.
-No comment
* Your last name stays put.
-Not if I get married, and some guys loose their last names, and some people change them.
* The garage is all yours.
-Typically but not always
* Wedding plans take care of themselves.
-Where's the money coming from?
* You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
-Even when the other person has HIV or something?
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