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Old 04-02-2008, 05:55 PM   #1
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Default Aircraft tech logs

came across this the other day.. made me laugh

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet', which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' Pilots (marked with a P) and the Solutions Recorded (marked with an S) By Maintenance Engineers.
By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Auto pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel . Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget

probably been seen before, but still made me laugh
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Old 04-02-2008, 06:21 PM   #2
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Default Re: Aircraft tech logs

That must be making the rounds again. I've seen it before, but with UPS pilots as the source. Still good for a giggle.
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Old 04-02-2008, 08:03 PM   #3
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Default Re: Aircraft tech logs

Pretty funny, made me laugh......
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Old 04-02-2008, 09:08 PM   #4
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Default Re: Aircraft tech logs

Quote:
Originally Posted by Atomic Rooster View Post
That must be making the rounds again. I've seen it before, but with UPS pilots as the source. Still good for a giggle.
Me too, I think Raffaz posted that up as one of his memorable jokes of the day.
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Old 04-02-2008, 09:12 PM   #5
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Default Re: Aircraft tech logs

Yeah I know I read that here before, but still good to read again. We should re-sticky the jokes thread... No one posts in it anymore!
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