ok heres the finished story
Once upon a time....
I was happy because I was eating a giant hippo which made my jaw unhinge like as the thing that ate my sister while smoking weed on a saturday afternoon while banging his dog hard into the ground slowly all while reading PCWorld magazine next to a weird couple of gays who were indian that had a quadcore processor that processed their porn videos of donkeys.
Then I went to get my gun from this guy who was eating all the bloody chicken from the slaughter house by Uncle Redneck's Gib Storage Facility where they store fruit punch for those annoying little kids who eat the ice cream just to piss us off so I ran them over with my very big truck twice, going back and forth until they were squashed flat. But back to my gun, I had to shoot one I needed the practice badly but sadly I wiffed the booze all over my cousin he was staggering a lot and fell through the window who then got turned into the invincible boogie man who ran away with my freaking hamster and I had to create a nuclear submarine to recover my god damn hamster but it exploded. I then made and evil robotic hamster that could build computers and everything was fine until I realized they were Dells it then formated its harddrive but the worst part was I left the water running, now my house is flooded and I lost my dog and I still miss my best friend evil robot hamster because he built me computers even though they sucked so much with their Pentium 2 that I just had to eat candy canes for breakfast so I would get fat and have nasty rotten teeth and look like Austin Powers.
So as I strolled down the alley, I realized that I like to eat grass and make big pink boxes out of clay and cheese that smells so bad because the french made the cheese just like the chineese toys that use lead paint because they enjoy kids smelling like used up diapers that have even more french cheese in, the kind I like to wear because they fit snuggly in every crevice of my groin which is hugely hugely small, unlike mine which is vast like the great grand canyon but doesn't smell of cheese, onions and french fry grease like them great stinky diapers that french kids have because their parents cannot afford a diaper changing evil hamster who laughs when other hamsters explode from the cheese stench to become a super computer with a pet diaper hamster who decided to kill himself when the gay indians came and killed the gay spammer who's ip is unreleased by macdonalds because they happen to be friends of celegorm's family and drug dealers from california who happen to deal with weed, pot and pie on a TV show that no one watches exept for napoleon, dynamite and celegorms family alongside with cheese mozzarella cheese topped with dynamite pepperoni sticks that go boom when eaten with a tin of brasso because they are sharp objects that eat you if you touch them on a monday with your huge, big, giant middle toe on your left nipple that was attached to your third arm coming out because he ate Mac&Cheese and threw up on his new tap dancing shoes so that went clickity clack on really loud noises that annoyed the garbageman a lot because he is allergic to loud drills that make him feel like a bear dancing on Mr.Johnsons hairy mole infested back on a beach in england while sippin' on two Pinya colada filled with worms from pluto and some mac and cheese
And the evil robot hamster as in his little grave eating stinky moldy french cheese from the diaper that a stinky french baby made while playing with the indians who were building a house out of curry powder with three piggies inside who were cooking bacon for the homies who are about to play bingo with a group of old people dying from france, who carried around their handbag filled with pot and pepper, covered in that moldy wine that dried up in ashes from the great unknown god of the almighty world who likes to get it up the big giant butt with no lube at all except when he is drinking straight tequila from a belly button of a cat cup made of 123 dead people on the ground, smells like sugar on a stick that got stabbed into someones big eye, and it is all over the place, eat 'ing a crispy fried cockroach that was once a stripper.
Edit: i put some paragraphs to try make it easier to read