Thanks for the reply once again.
I managed to solve the problem, got the motherboard out of the case, cleaned everything and got it working with just the bare bones.
It seems that the reason why there were no speakers was because the cable that connects the speakers to the motherboars was slightly unplugged.
The power switch and the reset connectors were also ever so slightly touching each other which was causing the random restarts.
The video problem was simply a bit of dust in the PCI connector in the motherboard.
Therefore the only logical solution I can come up with is, NEVER EVER EVER LET A WOMAN WITH A STUPID VACCUM CLEANER GET CLOSE TO YOUR COMPUTER.
Anyway, thanks a lot for your time!