Hi There, welcome to the forum!
BTW - you don't sound retarded - But I think your best start is to evaluate what you want the computer to do, and how much you are willing to spend on it.
When you say:
my goal is to have 4tb hard drive and 16gb of ram.
That is the goal for the first build? or over a few years?
Ask yourself, are you really going to be using 4TB of storage / backup? What are you going to need 16GB of RAM to do, that 8GB wouldn't handle?
If you are putting that sort of hardware into a system, it only seems right to put a proccessor that will also deliver big power, so you could look at the new i7 2600k sandybridge, or the i7 processors. That coupled with a decent motherboard alone, you could be looking at least £450-£500 GBP ($700 USD).
Thats for just your Motherboard and CPU.
Ontop of that, you need to think about Opertaing System, Monitor(s?) Graphics Card(s?) sound cards, coolers/fans/heatsinks. Hard drives / optical drives / media drives, keyboard/mouse ... etc etc etc
If you havent already read up about RAID, for your TB Disks, and see if you would benefit from it. If so, what particular RAID type would suit you best.
If you did want an example of a MOBO, and a CPU you could potentially go for something like this:
Asus Rampage III Extreme X58 Socket 1366 8 Channel HD.. | Ebuyer.com
Intel Core i7 960 3.2 GHz Socket 1366 8MB L3 Cache.. | Ebuyer.com
Just as an example. But thats a lot of money to be throwing at a system!