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-   -   Men Only - May Offend Women, You Have Been Warned (http://www.computerforums.org/forums/social-lounge-off-topic/men-only-may-offend-women-you-have-been-warned-158047.html)

Raffaz 02-15-2007 03:15 AM

Men Only - May Offend Women, You Have Been Warned
 
We always hear "the rules" from the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules:
Please note... these are all number "1"

Breasts are for looking at and that is it why we do it. Don't try to change that.

Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never
going to think that way.

Crying is blackmail.

Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
JUST SAY IT!

‘Yes’ and ‘No’ are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question

Come to us with a problem only if you need help solving it That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem See a Doctor

Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days

If you think you're fat, you probably are are. Don't ask us

If something we said can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is

If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing " we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle

If you ask a question you don't want an answer to , expect an answer you don't want to hear

When we have to go somewhere, anything you wear is absolutely fine, Really

Don't ask us what we're thinking unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as:
Sex,
Sport or
Cars

You have enough clothes

You have too many shoes

I am in shape. Round is a shape.

Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know i have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them an education
:)

alvino 02-15-2007 03:32 AM

Re: Men Only - May Offend Women, You Have Been Warned
 
Hahaha, nice one! :)

Steff 02-15-2007 03:33 AM

Re: Men Only - May Offend Women, You Have Been Warned
 
Haha, some of its true! Not about the education part I may add though!!!! Tut! :p ;)

ArrizX 02-15-2007 04:34 AM

Re: Men Only - May Offend Women, You Have Been Warned
 
Priceless :D

Raffaz 02-15-2007 06:17 AM

Re: Men Only - May Offend Women, You Have Been Warned
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Steff
Haha, some of its true! Not about the education part I may add though!!!! Tut! :p ;)

Ahh, thats where ya wrong. Its all true from a mans point of view. Consider yourself educated :p

joxley1990 02-15-2007 07:46 AM

Re: Men Only - May Offend Women, You Have Been Warned
 
Haha, nice one, so true!

^Mike^ 02-15-2007 09:09 AM

Re: Men Only - May Offend Women, You Have Been Warned
 
hahaha!

dude_se 02-15-2007 10:05 AM

Re: Men Only - May Offend Women, You Have Been Warned
 
haha its too true. that applies to sooo many women

Cabbs 02-15-2007 11:51 AM

Re: Men Only - May Offend Women, You Have Been Warned
 
Haha practically all of it is true!

LA061 02-15-2007 12:43 PM

Re: Men Only - May Offend Women, You Have Been Warned
 
Haha!


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