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Old 01-09-2014, 09:31 AM   #11
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Default Re: Recent Cyber Bullying

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Originally Posted by MMM View Post
The Op post question was about installing spyware by parents not about bullying.
Sorry, got caught up in the side-bar.

Not really sure who is, or who isn't, a parent on here, but those who are probably have the same fear as I concerning their children and the internet. The internet is full of filth. Even Google images can be dangerous (Google "Cortana" (the halo character) and the pron starts in the fifth row!)

So, I don't think the question is really one of ethics, I think it's one of means.

A parent (IMHO) should do whatever they possibly can to 'spot-check' their children's activity on the internet. I personally have my Cisco router set up to block some things, allow others, and log the crap out of everything else. Most parents wouldn't know how to accomplish this, so if they can use a program like the above, then yes, they should.

It's abhorring to me that children under the age of 16-18 are assumed by any parent to have any kind of privacy. My children will not enjoy that luxury, because I brought you into this world, so I'll do everything I can to help you make the right decision until the law says I can't.

Now, I think the followup (and more important) question is, what should parents do with the information they get from spyware or the like?

Do you forcibly prevent further activity? Do you punish for the first (series of) offense(s)? Shitty parents worldwide take this approach, whereas any child abuse counselor will tell you that you need to talk to your kids about anything that happens, and explain the behavior, outcomes, effects, etc. and especially don't go in guns blazing. Kids (after adolescence) don't learn right from wrong simply from discipline anymore. You can't spank it away like you could at age 3. You have to appeal to the more logical side (in conjunction with an appropriate discipline for further offenses).

That's the real problem. We are treating children like adults from far too young of an age. We are assuming that 'they'll figure it out.' Umm, no. They won't. They'll draw inaccurate conclusions from your lack of direction and you've essentially accomplished nothing.

So I guess to sum this all up;

If you're genuinely interested in your child's development, then yea, install spyware, install keyloggers, check logs, and then teach (keyword!!!!) your child the dangers of any found actions.

However, if you're just another shitty parent who doesn't really care how your child fares after they're no longer your problem, then why bother? Don't install spyware just so you can become parent of the year by embarrassing your child, the one time you take an interest in their life.
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Old 01-10-2014, 05:28 AM   #12
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Default Re: Recent Cyber Bullying

As a parent & Grandparent all I can say raising & disciplining children is no easy task, it is easy to criticize others but without knowing all the facts it is hard to pass judgement.

What you think is correct discipline to your child/children can be deemed abhorrent by others & vice versa.

To the people here who are yet to start out & have a family you are in a rude of awakening, I'm sure your intentions will be good to raising children but you too might make some bad decisions, after all we parents are not perfect at times.
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Old 01-10-2014, 10:06 AM   #13
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Default Re: Recent Cyber Bullying

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As a parent & Grandparent all I can say raising & disciplining children is no easy task
I get that, and agree with everything you're saying (beyond what was quoted). It's just really crappy to me to see the role parents have taken of late. For example;

There's a small child who used to live in my neighborhood and we didn't know his mother that well, but my son and him played together often. Eventually, my wife met his mother and they exchanged numbers.

To make a very long story short, we came to realize that she would tell her kids (she had more than a few) to go outside and play after getting home (~6pm), and then leave to party for the night, locking the door behind her. Her kids would be locked out of the house until midnight sometimes, just sitting on the curb or playing in the street, on school nights to boot. My son would also offer his friend dinner sometimes. One day, all of her children showed up at our door asking for dinner. I kindly turned them away but then noticed one of them started crying. When I asked why the little one was crying, one of the younger ones replied, "Mom said we have to eat dinner here or we don't eat." So I called the pizza shop, then called the police. While I don't know the full outcome, I know that she doesn't have custody anymore, and she was sure to let us know that it was our fault.

While this is the worst example of bad parenting I've personally witnessed, it's not the only, and there's so much more to that whole story.

With that, you'll have to forgive my 'harsh judgement' of parents. My own parents tossed me out like trash after I stopped living in their religious fantasy and I was completely on my own, working two jobs just so I could graduate high school. After having my boys, I just don't understand how some parents can be so pathetic. My kids are the best thing to have ever happened to me...

Anywho, regardless of how it happened, a child is not brought into this world by mistake. Whilst I won't comment on the ethics of abortion, it is a legal option in many places. If someone is not willing to accept the responsibility of truly raising children, then don't f-----g have them. If you do have them, then don't complain about how hard it is. Nobody made that child but the two people involved. I get that it's hard, and yes, we make mistakes, but more and more, people are just not even trying anymore. It's no longer "Damn, I made a mistake", because that implies diligent effort. Anymore, it's the complete lack of effort or emotionally invested care. Kids are a burden, a mistake, 'thorn in my side', or a means to collect free money... anyway, stopping here.

/rage rant
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Old 01-11-2014, 10:12 PM   #14
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Default Re: Recent Cyber Bullying

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Originally Posted by iPwn View Post
I get that, and agree with everything you're saying (beyond what was quoted). It's just really crappy to me to see the role parents have taken of late. For example;

There's a small child who used to live in my neighborhood and we didn't know his mother that well, but my son and him played together often. Eventually, my wife met his mother and they exchanged numbers.

To make a very long story short, we came to realize that she would tell her kids (she had more than a few) to go outside and play after getting home (~6pm), and then leave to party for the night, locking the door behind her. Her kids would be locked out of the house until midnight sometimes, just sitting on the curb or playing in the street, on school nights to boot. My son would also offer his friend dinner sometimes. One day, all of her children showed up at our door asking for dinner. I kindly turned them away but then noticed one of them started crying. When I asked why the little one was crying, one of the younger ones replied, "Mom said we have to eat dinner here or we don't eat." So I called the pizza shop, then called the police. While I don't know the full outcome, I know that she doesn't have custody anymore, and she was sure to let us know that it was our fault.

While this is the worst example of bad parenting I've personally witnessed, it's not the only, and there's so much more to that whole story.

With that, you'll have to forgive my 'harsh judgement' of parents. My own parents tossed me out like trash after I stopped living in their religious fantasy and I was completely on my own, working two jobs just so I could graduate high school. After having my boys, I just don't understand how some parents can be so pathetic. My kids are the best thing to have ever happened to me...

Anywho, regardless of how it happened, a child is not brought into this world by mistake. Whilst I won't comment on the ethics of abortion, it is a legal option in many places. If someone is not willing to accept the responsibility of truly raising children, then don't f-----g have them. If you do have them, then don't complain about how hard it is. Nobody made that child but the two people involved. I get that it's hard, and yes, we make mistakes, but more and more, people are just not even trying anymore. It's no longer "Damn, I made a mistake", because that implies diligent effort. Anymore, it's the complete lack of effort or emotionally invested care. Kids are a burden, a mistake, 'thorn in my side', or a means to collect free money... anyway, stopping here.

/rage rant
Quite correct...... there are people out there who are unfit to be parents & should never have children in their care but that it self is another topic.

Cheers.
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Old 01-13-2014, 06:05 AM   #15
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Default Re: Recent Cyber Bullying

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Originally Posted by ~mr mixx~ View Post
I can't tell if it's fake or not, but if it really happened that mother over reacted big time & embarrassing that little girl like that was uncalled for.
I would never name and shame my child in such a way...

however.
Quote:
Not to mention making her sell her ipod...geez, children make mistakes.
it's a pretty simple rule.

if you can't be a nice person, then you can't have nice things.


If I caught my child using a technology to bully people then said technology would be taken away from them.
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Old 01-15-2014, 08:11 PM   #16
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Default Re: Recent Cyber Bullying

The Ipod should terminated with extreme prejudice
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Old 04-12-2014, 08:58 PM   #17
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Default Re: Recent Cyber Bullying

As far as punishment I do agree with selling the IPod or taking it away, I work with computers on a daily basis and really know the threats and ways around things so it's dangerous for kids to go unpunished and not learn just what can happen.

That being said I do not agree with the publicity of it. This parent needs a lesson on the vastness of the internet... This picture is up forever and just embarasses the girl. This picture will never go away and will be with the girl forever, and in todays age this could be very VERY bad for the girl. Many employers are looking at online profiles and many other information online, by searching either the girls name or the mothers name this picture is more than likely going to come up, and while the girl is clearly young it is still a serious problem.

Nowadays with the internet people need to learn and understand that they have to think infinetly ahead, because things never dissappear and can do real damage to someones reputation.


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