Son:"Daddy, I fell in love & want to date this awesome girl!"
Father: "That's great son. Who is she?"
Son: "It's Sandra, the neighbor's daughter"
father: "Ohhh I wish you hadn't said that.
I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your
mother. Sandra is actually your sister.
"The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later ...
Son: "Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!"
Father: "That's great son. Who is she?"
Son: "It's Angela, the other neighbor's daughter."
Father: "Ohhhh I wish you hadn't said that.Angela is also your sister."
This went on couple of times and the son was so mad, he went straight to his Mother crying.
Son:"Mum I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with six girls but I can't
date any of them because dad is their father!"
The mother hugs him affectionately and says: "My love, you can date whoever you want. Dont listen to him He isn't your father."
Bruce Wayne & Clark Kent are relaxing over a beer. Bruce asks Clark "How was your day?"
CK: I'd rather not talk about it.
BW: Why's that?
CK: I was out flying this afternoon & as I went over a cornfield, I saw Wonder Woman naked in a crop circle.
BW: Wow, what was she doing?
CK: Just laying on her back with her legs apart.
BW: Wow, what did you do?
CK: I did what any other red blooded super-hero would have done. I unzipped & swooped straight down between her legs.
BW: That must have surprised her.
CK: It did - but not as much as the Invisible Man...
In Court the Judge says to a double-homicide defendant.
"You're charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer." A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, "You bastard!" The judge says, "You're also charged with beating your Mother-in-law to death with a hammer." The voice in the back of the courtroom yells out, "You rotten bastard!" The judge stops and says to the guy in the back of the courtroom,
"Sir, I can understand your anger and frustration at these crimes but no more outbursts from you or I'll charge you with contempt. Is that understood?"
The guy in the back of the court stands up and says, "I'm Sorry, Your Honour, but for fifteen years I've lived next door to that bastard and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he didn't have one."
I saw a Spanish magician last night who said he would disappear on the count of 3.
He waved his magic wand and said;
"Uno"....
"Dos"....
PFFFF!!!!
And he had disappeared without a tres.