Jokes N Stuff!

[Technician1]

Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
Of course, a house doesn't jump.

My neighbors are listening to great music.
Whether they like it or not. (turning up the volume)

What would Jesus least favorite gun be?
A nail gun.

Sometimes I drink water.
just to surprise my liver.

If I wanted to commit suicide, I would climb up to the height of Kim Kardashian's ego and jump down to her IQ level

Actually, since Jesus was a carpenter, he might have liked nail guns, until that one day of course.

 

[BikerEcho]

Yeah make sense. Would have made his job a lot easier.

 

[Technician1]

I saw a news story about a guy that ate 2 pounds of shoe polish. It killed him. He had a terrible end, but a beautiful finish.

 

[Smart_Guy]

What do you call gay people who play video games?

Gaymers!

Note:
I don't have a problem with gay people. The above is just a words play.

 

[~mr mixx~]

My girlfriend said she wanted me to tease her. I said, 'Alright, fatty.

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A man was drinking in a bar when he noticed this beautiful young lady sitting next to him. "Hello there," says the man, "and what is your name?"
"Hello," giggles the woman, "I'm Stacey. What's yours?"
"I'm Jim."
"Jim, do you want to come over to my house tonight? I mean, right now??"
"Sure!" replies Jim, "Let's go!"
So Stacey takes Jim to her house and takes him to her room. Jim sits down on the bed and notices a picture of a man on Stacey's desk. "Stacey, I noticed the picture of a man on your desk," Jim says.
"Yes? And what about it?" asks Stacey.
"Is it your brother?"
"No, it isn't, Jim!" Stacey giggles. Jim's eyes widen, suspecting that it might be Stacey's husband.
When he finally asks, "Is it your husband?"
Stacey giggles even more, "No, silly!" Jim was relieved.
"Then, it must be your boyfriend!"
Stacey giggles even more while nibbling on Jim's ear. She says, "No, silly!!"
"Then, who is it?" Jim asks.
Stacey replies, "That's me BEFORE my operation!!"

 

[BikerEcho]

Have you guys seen these Gordon ramsay memes?
They are hilarious.

 

[~mr mixx~]

Good one's Celery....Yeah, I used to watch Hell's Kitchen a long time ago.

 

[Smart_Guy]

Celery? Where?

 

[Celery]

Aww, you were thinking of me.

 

[~mr mixx~]

Celery......YOU DA MAN !!!