Jokes N Stuff!

[Smart_Guy]

I have raised a Beast here, in truth I went back 2 pages and saw all sex related ones and thought Facepalm.

But yeah I am sure a few users have, or have had, Girlfriends.

Dude, that's a low blow! I've never had one of those! Actually, I'm still a virgin and I'm about 34!

Nope, that's not a reference to rule 34

 

[Smart_Guy]

I forgot to tell you guys that I think I know my right as a man... but I know for certain that I know my left.

 

[~mr mixx~]

Well a lot of the jokes can be about sex, but come on....have a sense of humor already.

And SmartGuy , your comments always bring a smile to my face...

 

[Technician1]

Well a lot of the jokes can be about sex, but come on....have a sense of humor already.

And SmartGuy , your comments always bring a smile to my face...

Before or after the cringe?

 

[Smart_Guy]

Well a lot of the jokes can be about sex, but come on....have a sense of humor already.

And SmartGuy , your comments always bring a smile to my face...

Glad they do

You know, I sometimes go over my previous posts and so suddenly explode laughing. I do this at work and people look at me and some of them tell me "what's wrong with you?".

 

[Smart_Guy]

This is a story told by a Chinese kid describing his misery upbringing his three little brother:

ㅃㅉㅃㄲㄸ12ㅒ&g
朣楢琴执㝧执😱瑩 浻牡楧㩮㔱硰执㝧执獧浻牡楧敬瑦瀰絸朣杢㑳执獧扻捡杫潲湵潣潬㩲昣昸昸㬸慢正牧畯摮椭慭敧敷止瑩札慲楤湥楬敮牡氬ㅎㅇ표ㅓㅏㄴ晥⁴潴敬瑦戠瑯潴牦浯㡦㡦㡦 潴捥捥捥戻捡杫潲湵浩条㩥眭扥楫楬敮牡札慲楤湥潴昣昸昸攣散散戻捡......杫潲湵浩条㩥洭穯氭湩ㅊㅍ퓨ㅠㅎㅊ慥牧摡敩瑮琨灯㡦㡦㡦捥捥捥㬩慢正牧畯摮 椭慭敧獭氭湩慥牧摡敩瑮琨灯㡦㡦㡦捥捥捥㬩慢正牧畯摮椭慭敧楬敮牡札慲楤湥潴昣昸昸ㅃ1234攣散散戻捡杫潲湵浩条㩥楬敮牡札慲楤湥潴昣昸昸攣散散汩整㩲 牰杯💣摩䐺䥘慭敧牔湡晳牯楍牣獯景牧摡敩瑮猨慴瑲潃潬卲牴昣昸昸䔬摮潃潬卲牴攣ㅊㅌㅍ散散㬩潢摲牥硰猠汯摩⌠㙣㙣㙣搻獩汰祡戺潬正潭潢摲牥爭摡畩㩳瀲㭸漭戭牯敤慲楤獵㈺硰敷止瑩🔫🔫戭牯敤慲楤獵㈺硰戻ㅇㄹㅎ牯敤慲楤獵㈺硰执獧搴摻獩汰祡戺潬正瀻獯瑩潩㩮敲慬楴敶执獧搴筮楤灳慬㩹湩楬敮戭潬正漻敶晲潬...

A very sad story

 

[Technician1]

This is a story told by a Chinese kid describing his misery upbringing his three little brother:

A very sad story

ㅃㅉ ㅃㄲㄸ 12 ㅒ & g
Light from the rising moon Seigo piano Executive 㝧 Executive 😱 Mu Ying Yang Jiong 㩮 㔱 Executive 㝧 Executive Chuan Sha Mu Jiong Yang Jing Wu Mi Sainte light from the rising moon Jiang Chuan Website on Summer 㑳 Executive picking -y pigwash You Mintan 㩲 Zhendong Dong 㬸 slow positron husbandry overseer oval sooner Qi Ao Fuzhiyingzha Man elata Tu Jiexiamuya ㅎㅇ 표 ㅓ ㅏㄴ Han ⁴ Zhujingwuzhi Langzhumaowu 㡦 㡦 㡦 retention Wan Wan Wantijianxi Shaoyouhaotiao 㩥 Suidenjijie Xia Muzhamancong Tu retention Zhendong Dong Luan pick up loose powder Ti ...... -y Article 㩥 pigwash You Hao Kuang Se Dong Dong ㅊㅍ 퓨 ㅠ ㅎㅊ unfeigned husbandry Xi Xiao Li Kun lamp 㡦 㡦 㡦 Wan Wan Wan 㬩 slow positron husbandry overseer Ao oval sooner Rex Dong Dong Qi Xi Xiao Li Kun, animal husbandry unfeigned lamp 㡦 㡦 㡦 Wan Wan Wan 㬩 slow positron husbandry overseer oval sooner Qi Qiao Mu Xia peg Sapporo Man elata Tu retention Zhendong Dong ㅃ 1234 twin loose powder Ti picking -y pigwash You Hao Article 㩥peg Xia Mu Tu Sapporo Man elata retention Zhendong Dong Luan San San 㩲 You confused the whole cup 💣 Mount 䐺 䥘 sooner Qi Bo Yu Jing Xi Xun, animal husbandry, revolves around Ben fill up Xixiaoliyuan deterrence tinkling of gems Xin Tan Shao contravene Zhendong Dong 䔬 Qiaoxin Tan Shao contravene twin ㅊㅌㅍ scattered scattered 㬩 lake mow Fangshaceonhong Mount ⌠ 㙣 㙣 㙣 Nuohui Jig n Tan Tan Chai door pivot mow Huang Lian Fang contention Gaiyi 㩳 㭸 expansive You revolves Keman elata apply only hunting ㈺ Sha Ying 🔫🔫 You Gukemancong hunting ㈺ Shati ㅇㄹㅎ Gukemansong hunting ㈺ Sha Zhijuanqianchan Huitaichaishi Tan Zhengdaixunying knock Qin Shi Yi 㩮 Zhenzhijuanqian Shiconghuijin 㩹 Tongqiaxiayan Tan positive Liaozhennitan ...

Touching.

 

[Smart_Guy]

ㅃㅉ ㅃㄲㄸ 12 ㅒ & g
Light from the rising moon Seigo piano Executive 㝧 Executive 😱 Mu Ying Yang Jiong 㩮 㔱 Executive 㝧 Executive Chuan Sha Mu Jiong Yang Jing Wu Mi Sainte light from the rising moon Jiang Chuan Website on Summer 㑳 Executive picking -y pigwash You Mintan 㩲 Zhendong Dong 㬸 slow positron husbandry overseer oval sooner Qi Ao Fuzhiyingzha Man elata Tu Jiexiamuya ㅎㅇ 표 ㅓ ㅏㄴ Han ⁴ Zhujingwuzhi Langzhumaowu 㡦 㡦 㡦 retention Wan Wan Wantijianxi Shaoyouhaotiao 㩥 Suidenjijie Xia Muzhamancong Tu retention Zhendong Dong Luan pick up loose powder Ti ...... -y Article 㩥 pigwash You Hao Kuang Se Dong Dong ㅊㅍ 퓨 ㅠ ㅎㅊ unfeigned husbandry Xi Xiao Li Kun lamp 㡦 㡦 㡦 Wan Wan Wan 㬩 slow positron husbandry overseer Ao oval sooner Rex Dong Dong Qi Xi Xiao Li Kun, animal husbandry unfeigned lamp 㡦 㡦 㡦 Wan Wan Wan 㬩 slow positron husbandry overseer oval sooner Qi Qiao Mu Xia peg Sapporo Man elata Tu retention Zhendong Dong ㅃ 1234 twin loose powder Ti picking -y pigwash You Hao Article 㩥peg Xia Mu Tu Sapporo Man elata retention Zhendong Dong Luan San San 㩲 You confused the whole cup 💣 Mount 䐺 䥘 sooner Qi Bo Yu Jing Xi Xun, animal husbandry, revolves around Ben fill up Xixiaoliyuan deterrence tinkling of gems Xin Tan Shao contravene Zhendong Dong 䔬 Qiaoxin Tan Shao contravene twin ㅊㅌㅍ scattered scattered 㬩 lake mow Fangshaceonhong Mount ⌠ 㙣 㙣 㙣 Nuohui Jig n Tan Tan Chai door pivot mow Huang Lian Fang contention Gaiyi 㩳 㭸 expansive You revolves Keman elata apply only hunting ㈺ Sha Ying 🔫🔫 You Gukemancong hunting ㈺ Shati ㅇㄹㅎ Gukemansong hunting ㈺ Sha Zhijuanqianchan Huitaichaishi Tan Zhengdaixunying knock Qin Shi Yi 㩮 Zhenzhijuanqian Shiconghuijin 㩹 Tongqiaxiayan Tan positive Liaozhennitan ...

Touching.

Not as touching as this story:

A VERY TOUCHING story!!!

One day a boy was walking back home from school when he saw a cat lying like it was dead.

To satisfy his curiosity, the boy came close and touched the cat to see if it was dead or or maybe sleeping.

He touched the first time and there was no response. He then touched the cat again.

He continued touching, touching and touching.

Nothing happened.

The boy paused for a little while then again he touched the cat.

Nothing happened.

He kept touching the cat and never stopped.

Now that's a touching story.

Thank you for reading.

 

[Technician1]

A guy was driving down a back road in his convertible 1964 Shelby Cobra with his wife at his side when suddenly a rabbit jumped out in front of the car. The man tried to avoid hitting the rabbit, but to no avail, it was too late, the rabbit had taken the full force of the impact and lie motionless in the road.

The man stopped the car and reached into the glovebox, removing a small, unlabeled vial of tan colored liquid.

Without saying a word, he exited the automobile with the vial in hand and proceeded to where the rabbit was laying. As his wife watched, bewildered, he stooped down, opened the vial and let a few drops fall onto the lifeless animal and then recapped the bottle.

They both watched for a few seconds as the rabbit remained as still as death unchanged by the man's actions. Then, suddenly, without warning, there was a slight twitch, then another, then the rabbit kicked it's feet and began breathing again. It righted itself, shook off the dust and dirt from the roadway and hopped a few feet. There it stopped, turned reared up onto it's hind feet and waved it's front paw at the man, who smiled knowing his plan had indeed worked.

The two motorists continued watching as the rabbit hopped a few more feet, stopped and repeated the action, waving at the man again. It then hopped off and just before it went behind a large rock and out of sight, it waved again.

The man then stood, and returned to the car with a new sense of accomplishment and got back into the drivers seat, silently returning the bottle to its place in the glovebox and closed it.
He started the car and began driving again as his wife, still aghast at the spectacle that she had witnessed stared at him, awaiting an explanation. None was forthcoming as he continued to drive, keeping his eyes on the road ahead.

Finally after long moments of anxious silence, the woman blurted out, "Well, are you going to tell me what was in that bottle or not?!"
"Oh, of course, I didn't know you were interested", said the man, nonchalantly, "that was just an old bottle of hair restorer with permanent wave."

 

[setishock]

Now that's funny.